Baseball team Jokes

Baseball in the Great Beyond

St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball. Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys. “Very well,” said the gatekeeper of Heaven. But you realize, I hope, that we’ve got all the good players and the best coaches. “I know, and that’s all right,” Satan answered, unperturbed. “We’ve got all the umpires.”

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Team rivalry

Three baseball fans were on their way to a game when one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road. They stopped and discovered a nude female dead drunk. Out of respect and propriety, the Cubs fan took off his cap and placed it over her right breast. The Red Sox fan took off his cap and placed it over her left breast. Following their lead, the Yankee fan took off his cap and…

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Bush in Office

December 30, 2004/Washington, D.C.(Associated Press) After four years of legal wrangling, George W. Bush was finally declared the winner of the 2000 Presidential Election yesterday. Bush, a Republican, will take the oath of office at noon today and serves until January 20, 2005, a term of about three weeks. Then he gives way to the undisputed winner of the 2004 Presidential Election, New York Senator Hillary Rodham Greenspan (formerly Clinton). Facing a drastically shortened presidency, Bush attempted to strike an…

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More Only In America

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote in a national election. We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car that will take 5 years to pay off. We demand speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won’t buy a car if it can’t go over 100 miles an hour. We know…

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NFL Announcement

The National Football League has announced that the Washington, D. C. franchise will no longer be known as the Washington Redskins. The National Association for the Advancement of Native Americans in a separate announcement took credit for the change, and promised to intensify their efforts to get the Atlanta Braves and Cleveland Indian baseball franchises to do the same. This is result of the combined efforts of Indian groups with other civil rights groups culminating in success after a five…

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Guyness Quiz

Guyness Quiz Take This Scientific Quiz to Determine Your Guyness Quotient 1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to: a.…

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Nuts!

An institution for the mentally ill arranged for its inmates to attend a baseball game. The director spent days training the patients to obey his commands, so there wouldn’t be any trouble. The day of the game was bright and sunny and the group arrived just before the first pitch. When it was time for the National Anthem, the director yelled, “Up, nuts!” and the inmates immediately rose. When the National Anthem was over, the director yelled, “Down, nuts!” and…

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Will the REAL media please stand up!

Although the today’s joke was submitted “anonymously”, we at Comedy.com suspect that Bill O’Riely may have submitted it. If so, thanks Bill! Two boys in Boston were playing baseball when one of them was attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy ripped a board off of a nearby fence, wedged it into the dog’s collar and twisted it, breaking the dog’s neck. A newspaper reporter from the Boston Herald witnessed the incident and rushed over to interview…

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