Bank one Jokes

Top Ten Reasons To Change Banks

1. The teller says, “Welcome to Burger… First State Bank, may I take your order?” 2. Founders: Dowee, Cheetum, and Howe. 3. Interest Rate on loans: 40.99 % 4. Bank run out of double-wide trailer. Which has been blown over FIVE times. 5. Slogan: “We want your money… uh business.” 6. Instead of candy kids get their very own HAPPY pills. 7. All cash deposits go directly into teller’s pants. 8. Valuables safely stored in a Pizza Hut box. 9.…

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Read JokeTop Ten Reasons To Change Banks

So, This Frog Goes Into A Bank

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can tell from her name plate that the teller’s name is Patricia Whack, so he says,”Ms. Whack, I’d like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation.” Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The frog says $30,000. The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger and that…

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Moronic bank robber

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote “this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag.” on the back of a deposit slip. While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that some-one had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street…

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Permission to Spend Money

There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly, a cell phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues: “Hello?” “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?” “Yes.” “Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It’s absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?” “What’s the price?” “Only $1,500.” “Well,…

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bank robbery

A pregnant lady walked into a bank in the middle of a robbery, and was shot three times in the stomach. She was rushed to the hospital and asked if the triplets would be ok the doctor said they will pass the bullet in nine years. Nine years pass and one of the boys came home from school and said, “Mommy, mommy, I shit a bullet!” and she said “That is normal.” Then another boy came out of the bathroom…

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the bank

One day a lady told her daughter,” If you keep on sucking your thumb you are going to blow up like a balloon.” One day while they were standing in the line at the bank, a lady obviously pregnant was standing in line in front of them. The litte girl walked up to the lady and said,” I know what you were doing.”

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Japanese Banking Crisis

According to inside contacts, the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of ameliorating. If anything, it’s getting worse. Following last week’s news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale and is (you guessed it!) going for a song. Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived and 500 back-office staff at Karate Bank got the chop.…

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IRS Agent at the Bank

In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, “Just what the hell are you doing?” “Well,” said the guy, “you see, I’m a chiropractor and I could see that you were tense, so I had to massage your back. Sometimes I just can’t help practicing my art!” “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!” the…

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Blonde Bank Robbers

Two blondes decided to rob a bank together. The first blonde, plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the second blonde in great detail. The robbery begins. The first blonde drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to the other blonde, “I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan. You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Do you…

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Mega Novice #2

A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, “FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A F*CK-UP!” For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he’d been about to draw his gun. He couldn’t have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief ran away and…

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Read JokeMega Novice #2