bakery

One day, a man walks in a bakery shop and asks:”Do you have a special kind of candy bar which has the bread in the middle and the caramel on the outside?”

Surprised, the owner says he doesn’t.

The next day, the same man walks into the same bakery shop and asks: “Do you have a special kind of candy bar which has the bread in the middle and the caramel on the outside?”

Noticing the man had asked this already, the annoyed owner says he doesn’t. However, this time, he orders 50 candy bars that have the bread in the middle and the caramel on the outside just in case that man asks again.

The third day, the same man walks into the same bakery shop, and asks: “Do you have a special kind of candy bar which has the bread in the middle and the caramel on the outside?”

Just when the owner proudly said he did, the man replies: “Did you notice how sticky they are?”

While waiting to buy a danish and some coffee, my girlfriend and I notice this huge hairy man making the danish up.

He grabbed a piece of the dough, rolled it into a ball and raised his arm and putting the dough under his arm, slapped his arm back down onto the dough to flatten it out and placing it on the baking pan. My girlfriend was horrified at the sight of this. She cried out in disbelief at the way the baker was making the danish.

Another man commented ..
“Gee that ain’t nothin’ you should have been here a while ago when he was in there making the donuts!”

An overweight business associate of mine decided it was time to shed some excess pounds. He took his new diet seriously, even changing his driving route to avoid his favorite bakery. One morning, however, he arrived at work carrying a gigantic coffeecake. We all scolded him, but his smile was cherubic.

“This is a very special coffeecake,” he explained. “I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning, and there in the window was a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, ‘Lord, if you want me to have one of those delicious coffeecakes, let me have a parking place directly in front of the bakery.’”

“And sure enough,” he continued, “after the eighth time around the block, there it was!”

One day over the summer, Little Billy was taking a shower with his father and he looked up and asked his dad what was hanging from his stomach. His dad replied, “That’s my nerve son, because when people hit it I get pissed off.”

Later on that evening the father asked Little Billy to run down to the bakery to pick up some buns for dinner. Billy runs down to the bakery but half-way there, he forgets what he was supposed to get.

Little Billy runs back to his house and asked his father, “What did you want me to get again?” and his dad replied, “Some buns, son, some buns, it is not that hard to remember.”

Little Billy runs back to the store and gets up to the counter, and the attendent asks what he would like. By this time Little Billy has forgotten what he was supposed to get.

So Little Billy runs back to his house and asks his dad again and his dad replies, “Son, I want some God damn fucking buns!!!” Billy ran out of the house and back to the store.

The attendant at the counter asked Billy what he wanted and he replied, “I want some god damn fucking buns, please.” Shocked, the attendant replied, “Boy, kid, you’ve got a lot of nerve.”

The little boy smiled and said, “You think I got a lot of nerve, my father’s got one 12 inches long.”