Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A bellhop at a really nice resort takes a young couple up to the bridal suite, and drops off all their luggage. A short while later, he sees the groom heading out of the lobby, wearing waders and carrying a fishing rod and a tackle box. He is a little puzzled, so he goes over to the groom and says, “Excuse me sir, but shouldn’t you be upstairs making love to your wife?” The groom replies, “Well, I would, but…
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1: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block! 2: What do you say to a blonde that won’t give in? “Have another beer.” 3: What’s a blonde’s favorite wine? “Daddy! I want to go to Miami 4: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde are walking down the street. They spot a $100 on the ground. Who gets it? Nobody. The first four don’t exist and the…
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When you are dating….. Farting is never an issue. When you are married ….You make sure there’s nothing flammable near your husband at all times. When you are dating….. He takes you out to have a good time. When you are married ….He brings home a 6 pack, and says “What are you going to drink?” When you are dating….. He holds your hand in public. When you are married ….He flicks your ear in public. When you are dating…..…
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A son came to the conclusion that he must put his dad in a nursing home, because his father could no longer get around. His father called him after the first night and said, “Son I’m so glad you put me in here.” “Why Dad?” his son asked “Because I woke up today with the biggest erection, I’ve had in years. And the nurse saw it and gave me oral sex.” “That’s great, Dad!” the son replied and they both…
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YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…
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**How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be open by the time she brings it! **Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you! **Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink! **How do you know when a woman’s about to say something smart?…
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An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true. People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first. It’s easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them. I don’t mind going nowhere as long as it’s an interesting path. Make failure your teacher, not your undertaker. It hurts to be on the cutting edge. I don’t get even, I…
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How to be Politically Correct when talking about Men… He does not have a beer gut… He has developed a Liquid Grain Storage Facility. He is not quiet… He is a Conversational Minimalist. He is not stupid… He suffers from Minimal Cranial Development. He does not get lost all the time… He discovers Alternative Destinations. He is not balding… He is in Follicle Regression. He is not a cradle robber… He prefers Generationally Differential Relationships. He does not get falling-down…
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An annoyingly self-righteous man went to the doctor for a check-up. He said, “I feel terrible. Please examine me and tell me what’s wrong with me.” “Let’s begin with a few questions,” said the doctor. “Do you drink much?” “Alcohol?” said the man. “I’m a teetotaler. Never touch a drop.” “How about smoking?” asked the doctor. “Never,” replied the man. “Tobacco is bad, and I have strong principles against it.” “Well, uh,” said the doctor, “do you have much sex…
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You know those “special offers” that “you would be CRAZY to turn down”? Here’s how you might wish to respond to them: —————————————- To Whom It May Concern: Thank you for your recent e-mail to me. It was good hearing from you and reading your advertisement As information, I am a reasonably healthy male, over 40 years of age. If you sent me the ad/offer regarding how I may “enlarge my breasts,” I think I’ll pass, if you don’t mind.…
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