Aunts Jokes

Little Red Riding Hood

Red Riding Hood (RRH) is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log. “My what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf!” says RRH. The wolf jumps up and runs away!!! Further down the road RRH sees the wolf again. This time he is crouched behind a tree stump. “My what big ears you have Mr. Wolf!” says RRH. Again the wolf jumps up and runs away. About another 2 miles down the…

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Rejected Dr. Suess book titles

Rejected Dr. Suess Books- 1. One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, Blue Bitch 2. Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbert 3. Fox in Detox 4. Who Shat in the Hat? 5. Horton Hires a Ho 6. The Flesh Eating Lorax 7. How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day 8. Your Colon Can Moo—Can You? 9. Zippy the Rabid Gerbil 10. The Cat in the Blender 11. Marvin K. Mooney, Get the Fuck Out! 12. Are You My Proctologist? 13. Yentl the Lentil…

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Can It Get More Embarrassing Than This?

The following are two of the top three winners of a Most Embarrassing Moments Contest: “While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving *right now*, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said…

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The Classifieds

(Actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers) Illiterate? Write today for free help. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again. Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it. Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel. Stock up and save. Limit: one. Semi-Annual…

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