Amazement Jokes

Hubby’s amazement

One night a wife found her husband standing over their newborn baby’s crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism. Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arms around her husband. “A penny for your thoughts,” she whispered in his ear. “It’s amazing!” he replied. “I just can’t see…

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Stolen Car Returned

Finishing their shopping at the mall, a couple discovers that their brand-new car was stolen. They file a report at the police station, and a detective drives them back to the parking lot to look for evidence. To their amazement, the car has been returned and there’s a note in it that says “I apologize for taking your car. My wife was having a baby and I hot-wired your ignition to rush her to the hospital. Please forgive the inconvenience.…

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STUTTER

Two guys meet after not having seen each other for many many years. First guy asks the second guy, “How have things been going?” The second guy speaking very s..l..o..w..l..y.. tells the first guy, “I w..a..s.. a..l..m..o..s..t m..a..r..r..i..e..d.” The first guy says in amazement “Hey; you don’t stutter any more.” The answer comes, ” y..e..s I w..e..n..t t..o a d..o..c..t..o..r .a..n..d h..e t..o..l..d m..e t..h..a..t i..f I s..p..e..a..k.. s..l..o..w..l..y I w..i..l..l n..o..t s..t..u..t..t..e..r.” The first friend congratulates him and than…

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Alligator Shoes

A young blonde, on vacation in Louisiana, wanted a pair of alligator shoes, but was reluctant to pay high New Orleans prices. “I’ll just catch my own alligator,” she told one shopkeeper, so I can get a pair of shoes for free.” She stomped out of the store and headed for the swamp. Later, as the shopkeeper drove home, he spotted the blonde standing waist-deep in a bayou, shotgun in hand, with a huge alligator closing in. She took aim…

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A Lesson In Observation

A professor teaching medicine is tutoring a class on ‘Observation.’ He then takes out a jar of yellow-colored liquid. “This,” he explains holding up the jar, “is urine. To be a good doctor, you have to be observant to color, smell, sight and taste.” After saying this, the professor dips his finger into the jar and puts it into his mouth. His class watches on, more in disgust than in amazement. But being the diligent students that they are, as…

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Crazy Engineers

A rather inhibited engineer finally splurged on a luxury cruise to the Caribbean. It was the “craziest” thing he had ever done in his life. Just as he was beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared upon the huge ship, capsizing it like a child’s toy. Somehow the engineer, desperately hanging on to a life preserver, managed to wash ashore on a secluded island. Outside of beautiful scenery, a spring-fed pool, bananas and coconuts, there was little else. He lost…

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The Big Hole

Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big deep hole. “Wow…that looks deep.” “Sure does… toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is.” They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait… no noise. “Jeeez. That is REALLY deep… here.. throw one of these great big rocks down there. Those should make a noise.” They pick up a couple of football-sized rocks and toss them into the hole and…

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Camping Adventures

Two guys go on a camping trip up into the mountains, and they have a wonderful time. By about the fourth day, however, they’ve run out of things to talk about and are starting to get on each others nerves. So on the fourth night, as they’re having dinner, one of the guys makes a suggestion to his friend. “Look, we’ve been having a pretty good time up here, but let’s face it…after four days together we’ve run out of…

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Two Guys and a Donkey

There were two guys, Bob and Joe. Now Bob and Joe LOVED hockey, and they went to hockey games every weekend. And every Saturday after the games they searched the parking lot, not remembering where they parked their car. One day Bob decided he had a brilliant idea, and he was going to surprise Joe. That morning when he went to pick up Joe for the game, he was riding on a donkey. Joe looked at him with complete amazement…

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Nipples

One day a man walks up to a beautiful woman working in a library. “I’ll bet you three hundred dollars that by this time tomorrow your nipples will be gone” The woman is completely shocked and doesn’t know what to say. “I’m completely serious,” he says as he puts an envelope full of money on the counter “by this time tomorrow your nipples will be gone. You won’t see me until tomorrow and i will not attack you and slice…

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