Jokes News

A private and the rest of the soldiers were putting on their uniforms for inspection by the general. The private and a friend of his got in file and waited their turn to be inspected. The private looks over and notices his friend’s nametag missing, but doesn’t say anything. Well as the general passes the private, his friend, and about two other people, the general abruptly halts, turns around and goes to the private’s friend and says: “Private, where is your nametag?”

At this the private’s friend responds: “Well sir, I memorized and felt no further use for it, so I threw away sir.”

knock knock
who’s there
Phineas
Phineas who?
Phineas thing happened today

A Sunday School teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong.

“All right, children, let’s take another example,” she said. “If I were to get into a man’s pocket and take his billfold with all his money, what would I be?”

Little Johnny raises his hand, and with a confident smile, he blurts out, “You’d be his wife!”

An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application. Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough.

He opens his shirt and shows them the grey hair on his chest and they accept that as proof.

He goes home to his wife, shows her the check, and explains to her what has happened.

She replies, “Well get back down there, pull down your pants, and see if you can get disability!”

Question : What do you get when you cross the anti-baldness pill Rogaine with the anti-impotence pill Viagra ?

Answer : DON KING.

There was this girl who had breasts on her back instead of the front. The guys all thought she looked funny but was fun to dance with.

What do you call 42 Rednecks chasing a sissy?

NASCAR Winston Cup

How do you know the tooth brush was invented in West Virginia?

If invented anywhere else it would be called a teeth brush.

What is the difference between David Beckham and a diamond ring?

They both come in a posh box!!