Two faggots were talking, and one had a pained look on his face.

“What’s the matter, Brucie?” asked the other faggot.

“Oh, I have something stuck up my ass, Markie. Could you check it out for me?”

“OK — bend over.”

So Brucie bends over and Markie sticks his hand up his ass.

“It’s deeper, Markie!”, says Brucie, so Markie sticks his hand in deeper. “It’s -deeper-, Markie!”, so Markie sticks his hand in deeper.

“I feel it!” says Markie, “What is that?”

“It’s *deeper*, Markie!”, says Brucie, so Markie puts his hand in deeper, still.

“Ew!”, says Markie, “It’s wrapped around my wrist! What -is- that?!” He pulls his hand out and looks at it. “It’s a Rolex watch!”, he says, “What are you doing with a Rolex watch up your ass?”

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you……”

Q: What is a blonde girls motto?

A: If at first you don’t succeed, suck some more, you’ll soon suck seed.

Q. What’s the difference between a hunting dog and a gay man?

A. The hunting dog likes to sic a duck!

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller’s name is Patricia Whack. So he says, “Ms. Whack, I’d like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation.”

Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The frog says $30,000. The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s OK, he knows the bank manager. Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against a loan. She asks if he has anything that he can use as collateral. The frog says “Sure. I have this,” and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall. Bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patti explains that she’ll have to consult with the managerand disappears into a back office. She finds tha manager and says: “There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. And he wants to use this as collateral.” She holds up the tiny pink elephant. “I mean, what the heck is this?”

(Are you ready?)

The bank manager looks back at her and says: “Its a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone!”

Heavyweight boxer James (Quick) Tillis was a cowboy from Oklahoma when he first arrived in Chicago to start his boxing career. He clearly remembers his first day in the Windy City after his arrival from Tulsa.

“I got off the bus with two cardboard suitcases under my arms in downtown Chicago and stopped in front of the Sears Tower,” Tillis said. “I put the suitcases down, and I looked up at the Tower and I said to myself, I’m going to conquer Chicago.”

“When I looked down, the suitcases were gone.”