Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy
Dumb man + smart woman = affair
Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

There was once a blonde who bought a VW bug. She was driving along, and she ran over a speed bump,and immediately after she heard a huge bang and her car broke down.

The blonde then got out of her car and opened the hood, where she thought the engine should be. To her surprise it was gone. Thinking the engine had fallen out she started walking back. On her way she met another blonde, in an identical VW bug. The second blonde pulled over, and asked the first blonde what the problem was.

The first blonde replied, “My car hit a bump, and the engine fell out, so I’m going back to find it.”

The second blonde got very excited. She exclaimed, “Well, there isn’t problem then, because I just happen to have a spare engine in my trunk!”

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle; I’m still a virgin.”

“What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?”

“Well, Husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from Field Services; he said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn’t get the system up.

Husband #4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an Engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from Finance and Administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in Marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychiatrist; all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was . . . God! I miss him!!!

But now that I’ve married YOU, I’m really excited!”

“Good,” said the lawyer, “but, why?”

“You’re a lawyer. This time I KNOW I’m gonna get screwed!”

A tired traveler pulls into a hotel around midnight. Very
tired after a long day’s trip he asks the clerk for a single room. As the clerk fills out the paperwork, the man notices a gorgeous woman sitting in the lobby. He tells the clerk to wait while he disappears into the lobby. After a minute he comes back, with the girl on his arm.

Lying to the hotel clerk, he says, “Fancy meeting my ‘wife’
here. I’ll need a double room for the night.”

The next morning, he comes to settle his bill, and finds the
amount to be over $3000.

“What’s the meaning of this?” he yells at the clerk. “I’ve
only been here for one night!”

“Yes,” says the clerk, “but your ‘wife’ has been here for
three weeks!”

A man walks into a pharmacy and laments, “I’ve accidentally summoned three incredibly horny women to my apartment for drinks Saturday night”!

“Lucky you”, says the pharmacist!

“Unlucky”, says the man, “you see.. I’m not near man enough to please all three of them!!”

“Not to worry” says the pharmacist, “We have a new experimental drug which I will allow you to test if you are willing”

Seventy five dollars later the man walks from the pharmacy with instructions to return at 9 a.m sharp the next morning to reveal his findings.

The next morning the man walks into the pharmacy moaning and groaning with his pants around his knees.

“Oh my God”, screams the pharmacist, “What has happened, were you involved in a motorcycle accident”? (noticing the red,raw and poor condition of the man’s penis)

“NO,NO,NO”, groans the man,”nevermind about that.. just get me some A535 RUB, HEET LOTION or some Absorbine JR”.

“You must be insane”, yells the pharmacist, “That Sir.. is an open wound, applying anything like that would lead to terrific pain”!

“If you must know”, says the man, “it is not for my PENIS..! it is for my ARM..! Those @#%^## WOMEN never showed up!!!”