Jokes News

Q. How many ’screws’ are in a lesbian’s bed?

A. None, it’s all tongue and groove!

We all know that in pharmacology all drugs have generic names… for example; Tylenol is acetaminophene, and Advil is ibuprofen. Well, the FDA has come up with a generic name for Viagra… it’s mycoxafloppin.

A blonde whent to a paper company and ordered a roll of paper 1/2 inch wide and 50 feet long. The paper salesman asked the blonde, “Why do you need a paper that size?”

The blonde replied, “I am moving and I need to pack my clothes line.”

question: what is the square root of 69?

answer: eight something

Two Priests died and met at the Pearly Gates at the same time. The computer was down, so St. Peter asked them if they would hang out on earth for a week as anything they wanted. They both agreed.

The first priest asked to be an eagle for a week. “So be it,” said St. Peter and off the priest went.

The second priest asked to if he could be a “Stud” for a week, and St. Peter once again agreed.

A week later, the computer was fixed and the Lord told St. Peter to recall the two priests. “Will you have any trouble locating them?” he asked.

“The first one should be easy,” replies St. Peter, “He’s somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult.”

“Why?” asked the Lord.

“Because he is on a snow tire, somewhere in North Dakota.”

When Ralph first noticed that his penis was growing larger and staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife.

But after several weeks his penis had grown to nearly twenty inches. Ralph became quite concerned, so he and his wife went to see a prominent urologist.

After an initial examination, the physician explained to the couple that, though rare, Ralph’s condition could be cured through corrective surgery.

“How long will Ralph be on crutches?” the wife asked anxiously.

“Crutches? Why would he need crutches?” responded the surprised doctor.

“Well,” said the wife coldly, “You ARE planning to lengthen Ralph’s legs, aren’t you?”

What do men and parking spaces have in common?

The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicap.