Jokes News

Do you hear what happened to the Blonde Women’s Ice Hockey Team?

They all drowned in Spring Training.

This just in, the leading killer of all women over 70 whose husbands take Viagra is a HARD ATTACK.

SONY!!!!!!!!!!

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What's a transvestite's idea of a good time?

Eat, drink, and be Mary!

Q: What’s white and runs down the back of the bathroom door?

A: George Michaels latest release.

How far can a dog run into the woods?

Half way because the rest of the way he is running out!

A golfer was taken to the police station for questioning.

“Mr. Smith, I am Detective O’Reilly. Would you mind telling me what happened out there?”

“We were on the 1st hole. Dorothy went up to the women’s tee while I prepared to hit. I carefully gauged my swing and let one rip. It was a beautiful low liner but it had a slight hook. It struck Dorothy smack dab in the back of her head. I took off running but she was dead by the time I got to her side.”

“Mr. Smith, your story is supported by the report of the medical examiner, except for one thing. Upon performing the autopsy, the M.E. found a golf ball lodged up Mrs. Smith’s rectum. Would you mind explaining?”

“Oh sure! That was my mulligan.”

I'm not uptight. I just get frustrated with some of the banter and crude and offensive questions and responses. Anybody else feel this way?

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I cant tell if she likes me or if she just thinks i am funny

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The NAACP sent an agent to Alabama to check the progress in integration of churches. After a few weeks of checking around, he called headquarters to file his report. “How about the Catholics?” asks his boss.

“The Catholics are doing okay; they got the right idea.”

“What about the Methodists?”

“They’ve come a long way,” says the agent. “They’re doing just fine.”

“And the Baptists?” asks the boss.

“I just want to know one thing,” he says. . . “When they baptize you, how long are they supposed to hold you under?”