Jokes News

Did you know her Prince Charming was impotent? If you watch the movie, you will hear her sing about how “someday my prince will come”.

TWO WOMEN ON THEIR WAY BACK FROM A NIGHT OUT STOP IN A GRAVEYARD FOR A PISS ONE WIPES HER FANNY WITH HER KNICKERS AND THE OTHER WITH A WREATH.THE TWO HUSBANDS WERE IN THE PUB THE NEXT DAY AND THE FIRST MAN SAYS "I BETTER WATCH MY WIFE SHE CAME HOME WITH N

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by a fierce Indian tribe. The chief comes to them and says, “The bad news is now that we’ve caught you, we’re going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die.”

The Frenchman says, “I take ze poison.” The chief gives him some poison, the Frenchman says, “Vive la France!” and drinks it down.

The Englishman says, “A pistol for me, please.” The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, says, “God save the queen!” and blows his brains out.

The New Yorker says, “Gimme a fork.” The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There’s blood gushing out all over, it’s terrible.

The chief is appalled, and screams, “What are you doing???”

The New Yorker looks at the chief and says, “So much for your canoe, asshole!”

Q: Have you heard of they new femine hygiene spray called SSY.

A: Yes they are the company that took P.U. out of pussy.

there was this boy walking through the forest. he saw 3 birds in a tree. he shot one. how many were left?

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After a night on the town with his buddies and a few too many drinks, Tom foolishly offers to give everyone a lift home.

As Tom is driving down the freeway, his friend yells out that he has missed the exit. “No problem,” says Tom as he puts the car in reverse and begins reversing — straight into another car.

Wouldn’t you know it but 10 seconds later a police officer drives up. The officer approaches the other car first and after speaking to the driver he approaches Tom’s car.

Sweating profusely, Tom rolls down the window and the officer leans in and says, “Sir, you might as well go on home now. The fella behind you is so drunk he thinks you were reversing down the freeway!!!”

A blonde was speeding down the highway when she was stopped by an officer.

“Please, officer, let me go!” she cried.

Admiring the blonde’s body, the officer said, “I’ll only let you go if you give me a little hanky-panky.”

Confused, the blonde asked, “Which TeleTubby is that?”

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Don't Blame Me - I voted for Gore... I Think

How do you drown a blonde?

Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool