If an infinite number of rednecks, riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks, fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world’s great literary works in Braille.

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.

The teacher then announced, “Ladies, exercise is GOOD for you! Walking is especially beneficial. And, Gentlemen, it wouldn’t hurt YOU to take the time to go walking with your partner!”

The room really got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.

“Yes?” replied the teacher.

“Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?”

Why didn’t Rover bark?

Because he was a fish.

Akbar and Abu are talking about their children. So Akbar shows Abu a picture of his 1st born." This was Mahmoud, He is a martyr." He shows another picture. "And this is Mohammed. He too is a martyr." And another. "And this was our youngest Yassir. He also

There were three men standing at the Pearly Gates of Heaven, where Saint Peter met them and asked, “What would each of you like to hear your relatives or friends say at your funeral?”

The first man answered, “I am a renowned doctor and I would love to hear someone say how I had been instrumental in saving someone’s life and gave them a second chance.”

The second man replied, “I am a family man and a school teacher, I would like to hear some say what a great husband and father I was, and that I had been made a difference in some young person’s life.”

The third man replied, “Wow guys, those are really great things, but I guess if I had my choice, I would rather hear someone say, “LOOK!!! HE’S MOVING!!!”