Archive for September 22nd, 2006

Raw-Raw

Friday, September 22nd, 2006 | Posted in Questions Answers
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Q: What`s the difference between a cheerleader and a cadillac?

A: Not everyone’s been inside of a cadillac!

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  • New Teacher Orientation

    Friday, September 22nd, 2006 | Posted in Dirty Adult, Yo Mama
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    When the formal private briefing of the attractive new teacher by the vice-principal was finished, the vice-principal took a few puffs on his pipe and said, “I have an informal piece of advice for you, Miss Bell. There’s only one way you can get along in this school without submitting to the sexual advances of the principal.”

    “Oh my God! Well, er, what was is that?”

    “I’ll explain it,” he continued, “as soon as you’ve undressed.”

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  • Cow

    Friday, September 22nd, 2006 | Posted in Dirty Adult
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    > Say the word COW before each word.
    >
    > 1 - Cows
    > 2 - About
    > 3 - Talking
    > 4 - Idiot
    > 5 - This
    > 6 - Got
    > 7 - I
    > 8 - Long
    > 9 - How
    > 10 - Look
    >
    > Now say the word COW After each word
    >
    > 1 - Cows
    > 2 - About
    > 3 - Talking
    > 4 - Idiot
    > 5 - This
    > 6 - Got
    > 7 - I
    > 8 - Long
    > 9 - How
    > 10 - Look
    >
    > Now say the word COW before AND after each word.
    >
    > 1 - Cows
    > 2 - About
    > 3 - Talking
    > 4 - Idiot
    > 5 - This
    > 6 - Got
    > 7 - I
    > 8 - Long
    > 9 - How
    > 10 - Look
    >
    > Now Read the words upward from the bottom.
    >
    > 1 - Cows
    > 2 - About
    > 3 - Talking
    > 4 - Idiot
    > 5 - This
    > 6 - Got
    > 7 - I
    > 8 - Long
    > 9 - How
    > 10 - Look

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  • How come Martin Luther became a priest if he couldn’t keep it in his pants? No priest jokes please…?

    Friday, September 22nd, 2006 | Posted in Funny Stories
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    he was a catholic priest and at that time for about 500 years the vows of celibacy and chasity were instituted he seduced a nun and married her... and ye i know everyone sins but then he goes and makes his own religion..

    -- Delivered by

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  • amateurs joke telling? ……..I know it sucks it’s best i can do.?

    Friday, September 22nd, 2006 | Posted in Mexican
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    4 men are taking a road trip accross america. One from nebraska,idaho,indiana, and mexico one from Nebraska rolls down the window and tosses corn out"we have too much corn in Nebraska". Little while later one from Idaho rolls down window and tosses out po

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  • ARKANSAS STATE RESIDENCY APPLICATION

    Friday, September 22nd, 2006 | Posted in Ethnic Cultural
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    Plez compleet the follwin best ya can:

    Name:
    (_) Billy-Bob
    (_) Billy-Joe
    (_) Billy-George
    (_) Billy-Ray
    (_) Billy-Sue
    (_) Billy-Mae
    (_) Billy-Jack
    (_) Billy-Jefferson
    Last Name: (If unsure of spelling, write it out the way it sounds)

    (Check appropriate box)

    Age: ____
    Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A
    Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right

    Occupation:
    (_)Farmer
    (_)Mechanic
    (_)Hair Dresser
    (_)Un-employed

    Spouse’s Name: __________________________

    Second Spouse’s Name:
    __________________________

    Mistress’s Name:
    __________________________

    Second Mistress’s Name:
    __________________________

    Number of times you have cheated on your wife:
    (_)12, (_)13,(_)14,(_)15,(_)Not sure

    Relationship with spouse:
    (_) Sister
    (_) Brother
    (_) Aunt
    (_) Uncle
    (_) Cousin
    (_) Mother
    (_) Father
    (_) Son
    (_) Daughter
    (_) Pet

    Number of children living in household: ___

    Number that are yours: ___

    Number of children you keep in the shed:___

    Number of children you keep in the barn:___

    Mother’s Name: _______________________

    Father’s Name: _______________________ (If not
    sure, leave blank)

    Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade
    completed)

    Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home?
    (Check appropriate box)

    ___ Total number of vehicles you own
    ___ Number of vehicles that still crank
    ___ Number of vehicles in front yard
    ___ Number of vehicles in back yard
    ___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

    Do you (_)own or (_)not own a gunrack (if no, please explain)

    Firearms you own and where you keep them:
    ____ truck
    ____ bedroom
    ____ bathroom
    ____ kitchen
    ____ shed
    ____ kid’s room

    Model and year of your pickup: ___________194_

    Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
    (_)The National Enquirer
    (_)The Globe
    (_)TV Guide
    (_)Soap Opera Digest

    ___ Number of times you’ve seen a UFO
    ___ Number of times you’ve seen Elvis
    ___ Number of times you’ve seen Elvis in a UFO

    How often do you bathe:
    (_)Weekly
    (_)Monthly
    (_)Not Applicable

    Color of teeth:
    (_)Yellow
    (_)Brownish-Yellow
    (_)Brown
    (_)Black
    (_)N/A

    Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
    (_)Red-Man

    How far is your home from a paved road?
    (_)1 mile
    (_)2 miles
    (_)don’t know

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  • The Three Little Pigs Revisited

    Friday, September 22nd, 2006 | Posted in Funny Stories
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    One day in Sicily, the three little pigs were outside playing cards when all of a sudden the big bad wolf comes along. The three pigs scurry around and start building houses to protect themselves from the wolf.

    The first pig builds a house of straw. The wolf spots the house and he huffs and he puffs and he blows the house down.

    The pig escapes and runs over to Pig #2’s house made out of wood. Along comes the wolf who huffs and puffs and blows the house down.

    This time the pigs make it out by the skin of their teeth. They zoom over to Pig #3’s house made of brick. Suddenly, the wolf is standing outside the house huffing and puffing. Pig #3 picks up the phone, says a few words and hangs up. A few minutes later a black limo pulls up. Two well-dressed pigs gets out of the back seat, pull out machine guns and shoot the wolf. Amazed, Pig #1 and Pig #2 ask, “WHO WERE THEY?”

    Pig #3 replies “THE GUINEA PIGS!!!”

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  • HOW TO SCARE A MAN

    Friday, September 22nd, 2006 | Posted in Questions Answers
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    How do you scare a man?

    Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice!

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    Shoebox in the Cupboard

    Friday, September 22nd, 2006 | Posted in Religious
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    This priest is rusing around the house looking for his white collar before church. While looking in the linen cupboard he finds this shoebox, when he opens it he finds 3 eggs and $100.

    The next day he asks his wife what it was all about. She replies, “I didn’t want to tell you before because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

    The priest starts wondering what it can possibly be that would hurt his feelings, and the wife continues, “You see since the day we married 25 years ago I’ve been putting an egg in this box for every bad sermon you’ve given.”

    The priest thinks 3 eggs in 25 years, that’s not so bad, then asks “What’s the $100 for?” His wife replies, “Every time I got a dozen eggs I sold them to the neighbours for $1.”

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  • One liner jokes… Who else agrees they beat them all!?

    Friday, September 22nd, 2006 | Posted in Funny Stories
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    Hey guys! DOes any one know any funny/stupid/waste of space one liner jokes?! For example: What is brown and sticky? A stick!!! hahaha What do you call a penguin in the desert? LOST!!!!!! hehehe! CHEERS!

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