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Friday, September 22nd, 2006 | Posted in Questions AnswersQ: What`s the difference between a cheerleader and a cadillac?
A: Not everyone’s been inside of a cadillac!
Tags: cadillac, cheerleader
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Q: What`s the difference between a cheerleader and a cadillac?
A: Not everyone’s been inside of a cadillac!
Tags: cadillac, cheerleader
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When the formal private briefing of the attractive new teacher by the vice-principal was finished, the vice-principal took a few puffs on his pipe and said, “I have an informal piece of advice for you, Miss Bell. There’s only one way you can get along in this school without submitting to the sexual advances of the principal.”
“Oh my God! Well, er, what was is that?”
“I’ll explain it,” he continued, “as soon as you’ve undressed.”
Tags: teacher orientation, vice principal, sexual advances, new teacher, piece of advice
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> Say the word COW before each word.
>
> 1 - Cows
> 2 - About
> 3 - Talking
> 4 - Idiot
> 5 - This
> 6 - Got
> 7 - I
> 8 - Long
> 9 - How
> 10 - Look
>
> Now say the word COW After each word
>
> 1 - Cows
> 2 - About
> 3 - Talking
> 4 - Idiot
> 5 - This
> 6 - Got
> 7 - I
> 8 - Long
> 9 - How
> 10 - Look
>
> Now say the word COW before AND after each word.
>
> 1 - Cows
> 2 - About
> 3 - Talking
> 4 - Idiot
> 5 - This
> 6 - Got
> 7 - I
> 8 - Long
> 9 - How
> 10 - Look
>
> Now Read the words upward from the bottom.
>
> 1 - Cows
> 2 - About
> 3 - Talking
> 4 - Idiot
> 5 - This
> 6 - Got
> 7 - I
> 8 - Long
> 9 - How
> 10 - Look
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Tags: america one, road trip, amateurs, joke, corn
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Plez compleet the follwin best ya can:
Name:
(_) Billy-Bob
(_) Billy-Joe
(_) Billy-George
(_) Billy-Ray
(_) Billy-Sue
(_) Billy-Mae
(_) Billy-Jack
(_) Billy-Jefferson
Last Name: (If unsure of spelling, write it out the way it sounds)
(Check appropriate box)
Age: ____
Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
Occupation:
(_)Farmer
(_)Mechanic
(_)Hair Dresser
(_)Un-employed
Spouse’s Name: __________________________
Second Spouse’s Name:
__________________________
Mistress’s Name:
__________________________
Second Mistress’s Name:
__________________________
Number of times you have cheated on your wife:
(_)12, (_)13,(_)14,(_)15,(_)Not sure
Relationship with spouse:
(_) Sister
(_) Brother
(_) Aunt
(_) Uncle
(_) Cousin
(_) Mother
(_) Father
(_) Son
(_) Daughter
(_) Pet
Number of children living in household: ___
Number that are yours: ___
Number of children you keep in the shed:___
Number of children you keep in the barn:___
Mother’s Name: _______________________
Father’s Name: _______________________ (If not
sure, leave blank)
Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade
completed)
Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home?
(Check appropriate box)
___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks
Do you (_)own or (_)not own a gunrack (if no, please explain)
Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck
____ bedroom
____ bathroom
____ kitchen
____ shed
____ kid’s room
Model and year of your pickup: ___________194_
Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
(_)The National Enquirer
(_)The Globe
(_)TV Guide
(_)Soap Opera Digest
___ Number of times you’ve seen a UFO
___ Number of times you’ve seen Elvis
___ Number of times you’ve seen Elvis in a UFO
How often do you bathe:
(_)Weekly
(_)Monthly
(_)Not Applicable
Color of teeth:
(_)Yellow
(_)Brownish-Yellow
(_)Brown
(_)Black
(_)N/A
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
(_)Red-Man
How far is your home from a paved road?
(_)1 mile
(_)2 miles
(_)don’t know
Tags: soap opera digest, globe tv, national enquirer, household number, cement blocks
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One day in Sicily, the three little pigs were outside playing cards when all of a sudden the big bad wolf comes along. The three pigs scurry around and start building houses to protect themselves from the wolf.
The first pig builds a house of straw. The wolf spots the house and he huffs and he puffs and he blows the house down.
The pig escapes and runs over to Pig #2’s house made out of wood. Along comes the wolf who huffs and puffs and blows the house down.
This time the pigs make it out by the skin of their teeth. They zoom over to Pig #3’s house made of brick. Suddenly, the wolf is standing outside the house huffing and puffing. Pig #3 picks up the phone, says a few words and hangs up. A few minutes later a black limo pulls up. Two well-dressed pigs gets out of the back seat, pull out machine guns and shoot the wolf. Amazed, Pig #1 and Pig #2 ask, “WHO WERE THEY?”
Pig #3 replies “THE GUINEA PIGS!!!”
Tags: three little pigs, guinea pigs, pig 1, black limo, three pigs
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How do you scare a man?
Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice!
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This priest is rusing around the house looking for his white collar before church. While looking in the linen cupboard he finds this shoebox, when he opens it he finds 3 eggs and $100.
The next day he asks his wife what it was all about. She replies, “I didn’t want to tell you before because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”
The priest starts wondering what it can possibly be that would hurt his feelings, and the wife continues, “You see since the day we married 25 years ago I’ve been putting an egg in this box for every bad sermon you’ve given.”
The priest thinks 3 eggs in 25 years, that’s not so bad, then asks “What’s the $100 for?” His wife replies, “Every time I got a dozen eggs I sold them to the neighbours for $1.”
Tags: linen cupboard, dozen eggs, white collar, sermon, neighbours
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