Jokes News

One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, but he had on no scuba gear whatsoever.

The diver went below another 20 feet, but the guy joined him a few minutes later. The diver went below 25 feet, but minutes later, the same guy joined him. This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalkboard set, and wrote, “How the heck are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?”

The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote, “I’m drowning, you moron!”

What’s the difference between the Spice Girls film and a porno film?

The music is better in the porno film.

There’s this guy and he only has five dollars to his name. So he goes to this whorehouse cause he figures he might as well try to get laid with the last of his money. So he walks in and tells the mistress, “Ma’m I’ve got two dollars on me and I really need to get laid, can you help me?” and the mistress goes, “Two dollars, let me see what I can come up with,” and she leaves. She comes back and tells the guy that he’s in luck, she’s got someone who’ll do it for two bucks. So she tells him go all the way down the hall and it’s the last room on the left. Then she hands him a black condom and warns him not to turn on the lights.

So the guy goes and does his thing and comes back and tells the mistress, “That was the best sex I’ve ever had, I just so happen to have another two dollars, can I take another go around?” The mistress takes his money and tells him to go ahead and hands him another black condom and he says, “I didn’t forget, don’t turn on the light”. So he goes and does his thing again and this time when he comes back he’s going on and on about how it’s the best sex he’s ever had and he’s going to tell all his friends where they can get some good pussy for only two dollars.

Then he turns to the mistress and says, “I only have two questions for you, why the black condom and why can’t I turn on the light?”

The mistress tells him, “Well damn, you’ve got to have some respect for the dead!”