Little Johnny asked his mother, “mam, is our new au pair girl a mechanical woman, you know, a robot?”

“Of course not, Johnny, why do you ask?”

“Well, I just heard Daddy telling the man next door that he’d like to screw her ass off.”

_{-- Delivered by Feed43 service}

Anyone?

_{– Delivered by Feed43 service}

Four men were enlisted into the military in World War 2. Three were very religious men, and the other was a lawyer who didn’t want to die.

On the night before a large battle, the lawyer went to the others and said,”When the first shot flies, get down on your knees in prayer, and the lord will protect thee throughout the day.”

The others thought it was a good idea, and would be an excellent test of their faith.

The next morning, everyone was ordered to charge a German bunker. When the first shot came, the three religious men got on their knees and prayed to god for protection. The lawyer just kept running towards the bunker.

A young private saw this and asked the lawyer,”Why aren’t you praying as well? Don’t you want God’s protection?”

The lawyer replied,”What for? The good lord has already blessed me with three perfectly still targets to occupy the Germans!”

One day, this old man in the desert decides to buy a camel that didn’t have to drink every hour like his old one did. He then stops at the Market.

When he gets there and asks for a camel, one man instantly comes and offers him a camel that could drink 50 liters of water and wouldn’t be thirsty for a long time. But he says he wanted more.

Then this other man offers him one that drinks 60, and another that drinks 70, and so on until 120, then this guy says his camel drinks 2 tons of water three times a year. The old man asks him how.

Then the merchant tells him to hold the camels’ head under the water. He then takes two big bricks and bangs them together on the camel’s dick.