Jokes News

Q: What is more stupid than 10 blondes trying to build a city under water?

A: 11 brunettes trying to burn it down.

There once was an Amish guy who took his horse out on the road one day. The horse had been kind of sick lately and had been having problems with its bowels.

The Amish guy had not felt like cleaning up all of the horse poop off the road because that would have taken all day seeing how sick the horse was. Well, the cops pull up behind him and see what is happening.

They ask him to step out of his carriage, ask for his ID and tell him that he will be fined. He tells the officer he doesn’t have his ID and he doesn’t have enough money to pay the fine.

So the only thing the officer can tell him is,”Well, buddy, I guess it looks like you’re just shit outta luck.”

Little Johnny asks his teacher: “How are the babies made?”

Teacher, not wanting to take the responsibility of explaining such a sensitive subject, suggests that he go home and ask his parents.

When he gets home, Johnny approaches his father with the same question. His father replies, “Oh! that is a long story, you better speak to mother!”

The mother, in her turn, says: “Oh! It is a difficult question, why don’t you better speak to granddad!”

Grandfather is sitting on a bench in the garden and eating an apple just when Johnny comes up with the same question. And so he tries to explain: “You see, the apple has little seeds; when they are planted, an apple-tree will grow after a while; and then it will bring new apples. So people also…”

But Johnny has heard enough. He takes a few apples, carefully cuts them to collect the seeds, and puts the seeds into his pants pocket.

The next day at school, Johnny is eager to show off what he’s learned, so he approaches his teacher and says, “Now I can explain. But first let me start by showing you what I’ve got in my pants…”

A truck driver was barely creeping up a very steep hill with his rig when he reached the top.

On the downward descent of the same hill he noticed what appeared to be a couple laying right in the middle of the road.

The closer he got it appeared that they were making love. He immediately began blowing the airhorn and applying the brakes.

The couple continued their passionate ways as the driver came screeching to a halt only inches away from them.

“What in the hell are you doing?” screamed the startled truck driver. “Didn’t you hear my horn blaring?” he asked.

“Look, I was coming, she was coming, you were coming,” said the unruffled lover. “You were the only one with brakes.”

Note: This is an exact replication of National Public Radio (NPR)interview
between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald, who was about to
sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: “So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?”

GENERAL REINWALD: “We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and
shooting.”

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: “Shooting! that’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?”

GENERAL REINWALD: “I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised on the rifle range.”

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: “Don’t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?”

GENERAL REINWALD: “I don’t see how; we will be teaching them proper rifle
discipline before they even touch a firearm.”

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: “But you’re equipping them to become violent killers.”

GENERAL REINWALD: “Well, you’re ‘equipped’ to be a prostitute, but you’re not one, are you?”

The radio went silent and the interview ended.

Q: What do you do if your dish washer breaks down?

A: Kick her in the ass.

There once was an unfortunate frog that was yellow. He was often made fun of by the other green frogs for his color mutation. Upon the advice of a friend, he went to the fairy in the middle of the pond to see if she could change his color. The attempt of the fairy was successful with the single fault that the frog’s dick remained yellow. With much embarassment the frog took the advice of the fairy who said that he should go to the wizard at the end of the pond and see what he could do for the frog.

Later that day another unfortunate individual, being a purple gold fish, visited the fairy. Once the fairy had changed the color of the fish, the same problem of the genitals remaining the original color arose. When the fish asked the fairy what to do to get this problem fixed, the fairy responded, “Follow the yellow dicked toad.”

hello this is another test