Archive for February 2nd, 2006

WHITEHOUSE VIRGIN

Thursday, February 2nd, 2006 | Posted in Politics
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

Q: What do you call a virgin in the White House?

A: A woman that can run faster than Bill

Tags: , ,

Related articles:

  • Jesus
  • Titles Considered for Monica's New Autobiography..
  • Virgin
  • Learning the Bible
  • Blow up the White House..

  • Another Old Cigar

    Thursday, February 2nd, 2006 | Posted in Funny Stories
    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
    Loading ... Loading ...

    This drunken old yahoo staggers into a bar with a frightened look on his face. “I need a drink right away!” The bartender asked what was wrong and the drunk explained, “I was on the street corner ‘paddling the pickle’ when a truck came by, grazed it, and knocked it out of my hand.” The bartender couldn’t beleive what he was hearing but the drunk swore it was true. “You see,” the drunk slurred, “I found it laying by the curb and put it here in my pocket.” He pulls out what he beleives to be his severed johnson and the bartender said, “You idiot, that’s just an old cigar!” The drunk says, “Oops, wrong pocket.” He reaches into his other pocket and shows the bartender. “What are you? Blind? That’s just another old cigar!” The drunk gets a very bad look on his face and said, “Oh my God, I just smoked my dick!”

    Tags: , , , ,

    Related articles:

  • Martoonie
  • Twenty Push-Ups
  • The Pickle Slicer
  • My Cookies
  • When you're REALLY drunk

  • In Your Dreams, Buddy

    Thursday, February 2nd, 2006 | Posted in Man and Woman
    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
    Loading ... Loading ...

    THE PERFECT WOMAN

    1. I wanna swallow it all…I love the taste.

    2. Are you sure you’ve had enough to drink?

    3. I’m bored. Wanna shave my pussy?

    4. Shouldn’t you be down at the bar with your buddies?

    5. That was a great fart. Do another.

    6. I’ve decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

    7. You’re soooo sexy when you’re hungover.

    8. I’d rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

    9. Let’s subscribe to Hustler.

    10. Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?

    11. Let’s go down to the mall so you can check out women’s asses.

    12. I’ll be outside mowing the lawn.

    13. Honey, our neighbor’s daughter is sunbathing topless again. Come see.

    14. I know it’s a lot tighter back there, but would you please try again?

    15. No, you watch the game. I’ll take the car to have the oil changed.

    16. Do me a favor. I don’t want anything for Valentine’s Day. Buy yourself new clubs.

    17. Don’t worry about our anniversary. You go hunting with the guys.

    18. What do you say we get a good porno flick, a case of beer, a few joints, and have my friend Debbie over for a threesome.

    19. Oh, no, not the mall again. Let’s go to that new strip joint.

    20. Baby, I make enough money for both of us. Why don’t you retire and get that handicap down to 7 or 8.

    21. Sweetie, you need your sleep. I’ll do the night feedings.

    22. God…if I don’t get to blow you soon, I swear I’m gonna bust.

    23. I signed up for yoga so I can get my ankles behind my head for you.

    24. Would you like me to get implants?

    25. Ahh ya big silly, those male strippers have nothing on you.

    Tags: , , , ,

    Related articles:

  • What a perfect woman would say
  • Top 25 things a wife will NOT say
  • Drinking Buddies
  • Lovers of Porn?
  • Baby Boomers -- Then and Now

  • A LITTLE HEAD!

    Thursday, February 2nd, 2006 | Posted in Dirty Adult
    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
    Loading ... Loading ...

    A couple of guys are sitting in a bar and notice this big muscular guy with this real little head. They try to talk each other into going over and asking him how it is possible that his body is so massive and his head is so little, but are afraid because it is quite obvious that this man spends a lot of time at the gym. As the night goes on they get slightly intoxicated and one of them gets brave enough to go over and ask him.

    He approaches the strappin’ dude and tells him that he and his buddies are quite curious as to why his head is so little and the rest of his body is so large. The guy explains to them that while cleaning out his mother’s attic one day he stumbled upon this bottle. He tried to clean it up a bit by rubbing the dirt off of it, and a beautiful genie appeared — the most gorgeous woman he had ever laid eyes on. She told him that she had been in the bottle for over 70 years, and would like to thank him for releasing her by granting him one wish.

    He told her that she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and that his wish would be for her to have sex with him. Slightly offended, she replied, “I am sorry, but I am unable to grant that wish.” He then asked her, “Ok, then I’d like to wish for a hand job.” She replied indignantly, “Again, I am sorry. I am not able to grant that wish.” Feeling frustrated, he responded, “Well I guess a little head is out of the question?”

    Tags: , , , ,

    Related articles:

  • 3 Men and a Genie
  • Some Trick!
  • The Sad Wife's Wishes
  • You Bet!
  • African man and a genie

  • Trip to the Doctor

    Thursday, February 2nd, 2006 | Posted in Medical
    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
    Loading ... Loading ...

    One day this old man goes to the doctor and says: “Doctor I don’t know what’s wrong, everywhere I touch it hurts. The doctor asks the old man to show him.

    The old man takes his finger and starts to poke himself af various places on his body. The doctor noticed that everytime the old man poked himself, he would grimace with pain, so he proceded to take some X-rays.

    A short while later, the doctor returns with the results of the tests. He says to the old man: “You have A BROKEN FINGER”.

    Tags: , , ,

    Related articles:

  • THE WOMAN IN PAIN
  • Brown Balls
  • Short Joke of the Day for 10-29-2006
  • 15-incher
  • Mongolian VD

  • Orange penis

    Thursday, February 2nd, 2006 | Posted in Dirty Adult, Medical, Yo Mama
    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
    Loading ... Loading ...

    This guy walks into the doctor’s office and says, “Doc, you gotta help me. I have an orange dick.”

    Well sure enough, the doc looked and it was orange. The doc said, “Take one of these and see me next week.”

    The guy came back next week and said, “Doc, it didn’t help. My dick is still orange!”

    The doc asked him what he did on a nightly basis.

    The man replied, “I just watch pornos and eat Cheetos.”

    Tags: , , ,

    Related articles:

  • Nightly Prayers of a 3-year-old
  • name a dick
  • What Kind is Yours?
  • perfect penis
  • The juice

  • From the Beginning

    Thursday, February 2nd, 2006 | Posted in Medical, Religious
    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
    Loading ... Loading ...

    When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session. “I’m not aware of your problem,” the doctor said. “So, perhaps, you should just start at the very beginning.”

    “Of course,” he replied. “In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth….”

    Tags: , , ,

    Related articles:

  • INK BLOT
  • Think of Nothing But Sex
  • Horrible Dreams
  • Let Work Be Your Salvation
  • A Phallic Symbol

  • Mexican Shock!

    Thursday, February 2nd, 2006 | Posted in Ethnic Cultural, Mexican
    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
    Loading ... Loading ...

    Q: Why did the Mexican throw his wife out of the window?

    A: Tequila!

    Tags: ,

    Related articles:

  • 10 Shots
  • Your Wife?
  • tequila
  • FREE BEER
  • 'While you've been away...'

  • In the John

    Thursday, February 2nd, 2006 | Posted in Questions Answers
    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
    Loading ... Loading ...

    q. If you’re American on the outside of a bathroom, what are you on the inside?

    A. Europeeun

    Tags:

    Related articles:

  • Are you nuts?
  • What Do You Want For Our 40th Wedding Anniversay?
  • John Wayne
  • Cure for the Common Cough
  • 6 pack

  • Yo mama

    Thursday, February 2nd, 2006 | Posted in Yo Mama
    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
    Loading ... Loading ...

    Your mama so dumb she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

    Your mama so old I told her to act her age and she died.

    Your mama so short she hang-glides on doritos.

    Your mama so ugly her nickname is Damn!

    Your mama like a bowling ball. she gets fingered, thrown, and comes back for more.

    Your mama so fat she fell out a chair and went straight to hell.

    Your mama so short she fights with Mrs. Buttersworth.

    Your mama so dumb she tripped over a cordless phone.

    Your mama so dumb she studies for a blood test.

    Your mama so dumb she steals free samples.

    Tags: , , , ,

    Related articles:

  • Bowling Ball
  • Blondes and Bowling Balls
  • Your mama so dumb.....
  • grandmother & bowling ball
  • Blonde jokes