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Now until the end of the month, as a bonus, we will include a wooden crutch with each order just in case someone actually asks you to do some work.

25 years ago, when 30 men chased one black man, it was known as the KKK.
However, today we call it the PGA tour.

There are two very polite people having dinner together. On the table, there is a dish with one big piece of fish and one small piece of fish.

They politely say to each other: “You may choose first.”

“No, you may choose first.”

And this goes on for awhile. Then the first person says: “OK, I’ll take first.” And he takes the BIG piece of fish.

The second person: “Why did you take the big piece? That’s not polite!”

The first person says: “Which piece would YOU have taken?”

The second person replies: “Why, I would have taken the SMALL piece, of course.”

The first person says: “Well, that’s what you have now!”

Did you hear about the redneck who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?
She can’t touch it till she’s fourteen.

What’s the difference between a good ol’ boy and a redneck?
The good ol’ boy raises livestock. The redneck gets emotionally involved.

How do you know when your staying in a Tennessee hotel? When you call the front desk and say, “I’ve gotta leak in my sink!” and the person at the front desk says, “Go ahead, you paid for the room!”

How can you tell if a redneck is married?
There are tobacco spit stains on both sides of his pickup truck.

What’s the difference between Virginia and West Virginia? In Virginia, Moosehead is a beer. In West Virginia it’s a misdemeanor.

What is a Redneck’s defense in court?
“Honest your Honor, I was just helping the sheep over the
fence.”

Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in West Virginia to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!

What do they call “Hee Haw” in Tennessee?
A documentary.
What do they call it in Kentucky?
“Life Styles of the Rich and Famous.”

Why did God invent armadillos?
So that rednecks can have ‘possum on the half shell.

Q. How can you tell a blonde’s been driving a car?

A. there’s a condom on the gear shift

Two privates stationed at Fort Ord were handed shovels and told to bury a large dead animal.

While digging they got into an argument about what they were burying.

“This here’s a big mule!”

“This ain’t no mule, this here’s a donkey.”

“Mule!”

“Donkey!”

Well, this went on for a while until the camp chaplain came by.

“What are you boys doing?”

“We’re diggin’ a grave for this mule.”

“Donkey, dammit!”

The chaplain cut in, “Boys, this isn’t either one, it’s an ass.”

An hour later, the camp commander came up and said, “What are you men doing, digging a foxhole?”

“No sir, we’re diggin’ an asshole.”