We have all learned to live with “voice mail” as a necessary part of modern life. But have you wondered, what if God decided to install voicemail?
Imagine praying and hearing this:
Thank you for calling My Father’s House. Please select one of the following options:
Say “1″ for Requests
Say “2″ for Thanksgiving
Say “3″ for Complaints
Say “4″ for All Other Inquiries.
What if God used this familiar excuse: “I’m sorry, all of our angels are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and will be answered in the order it was received, so please stay on you knees.”
If you would like to pray to:
Gabriel, Say “1″
For Michael, Say “2″
For a directory of other Angels, Say “3″
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you wait, please Say “4″.
If you’ve heard enough, Say “When”.
To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven, Say “5″, recite his or her Social Security number, then say “pound”. (If you get a negative response, try saying “666″ for the “other” directory.)
For reservations at “My Father’s House” please say “J-O-H-N,” followed by “3-1-6″.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the
earth and where Noah’s Ark is, please wait until you arrive here.
Our computers show that you have already prayed once today. Please stand up and try again tomorrow.
This office is closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday. Please pray again Monday,
after 9:30 AM. If you need emergency assistance when this office is closed, contact your local
pastor. Thank you for praying. We look forward to your next prayer.