Jokes News

A very old couple book a honeymoon suite in a five-star hotel to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. The bell boy, while taking their luggage to the suite, thinks to himself, “At their ages, they are booking a suite. What a waste!”

After leaving them in their room with a a very heavy tip, he decides to spy on them. That night he sits in the lobby opposite their room. All night long he hears laughing and clapping sounds from their suite. He couldn’t believe his ears!

The next morning, he apologized to the husband for having listened to them the night before. But being the inquisitive sort, he asks him how he can do what he did at his age.

The husband replied, “See, it is this way. First, I remove my clothes. Then I lie down on the bed, face up. Then my wife removes her clothes. Then…”

The bellboy leans toward the old man and says, “Then what, WHAT?”

The old geezer smiles and says, “Then my wife lifts up my penis with one hand, and then we make a bet.”

The bellboy hollers, “A BET? What kind of bet?”

“If it falls to the left, I win. If it falls to the right, she wins,” the old guy replied with a smirk.

The bellboy asks, “Well, what if it doesn’t fall??”

“Then we BOTH win!” says the old man.

What do blondes & spaghetti have in common?

They both squirm when you try & eat ‘em!!

Bill and Hillary Clinton went out to dinner, and when the waiter came to take their order, he asked Hillary how she wanted her steak, she replied, “Medium.”

Then the waiter said, “How about your vegetable?”

Hillary replied, “Oh, he can order for himself!”

You might be a redneck if you’re at a party and the punchbowl flushes

If a dairy farmer has only one cow that gives milk, what does he call it?

His significant utter.