Jokes News

The Russian and African leaders get together for political talks. They became good friends and began talking about their culture.

Russian: In My country we have a game that tests a man’s courage. We call it russian roulette.

African: I am familiar with this game. We have one very similar. Let me show you how it is played.

They go outside and seven beautiful women kneel down in front of them butt naked.

African: Any of these beautiful woman will give you a blowjob.

Russian: What does this have to do with roulette?

African: One of them is a cannibal.

There once was a family of blondes. They were travelling by car to DisneyLand. After they stopped at the stop sign, they saw a sign saying “DISNEYLAND LEFT”

So the family turned around and went home.

Yo Mama is so fat, when she was diagnosed with that flesh eating virus, the doctor gave her ten years to live.

A Scotsman, an Englishman and a Jew are eating dinner at a very expensive restaurant. When the check arrives, the Scotsman says, “I’ll take that.”

The next day’s headlines read, “FAMOUS JEWISH VENTRILOQUIST BEATEN TO DEATH AT FANCY RESTAURANT.”

Darryll and Darren were identical twin boys who lived in a fishing village off the coast of Maine.

Darryll Farrell was married and Darren Farrell was single. Together they both owned a small, dilapidated boat. It happened that the same day Darryll’s wife died, Darren’s boat sank. Such is the karma of twins. A kind old lady met Darren on the street and mistaking him for his brother Darryll, said: “Oh, Mr. Farrell, I’m sorry to hear of your great loss. You must feel terrible.”

Darren said: “Well, I’m really not sorry at all. She was rotten from the start. Her bottom was all chewed up and she smelled of old fish from the first time I got on her. She made water faster than anything I’ve ever seen. She had a bad hole in the front and a big crack in the back. The hole kept getting bigger every time I used her. It got so I couldn’t handle her at all. When anyone else used her, she leaked all over the place. What finished her though, was four guys from the other side of town came over looking for a good time. They asked if they could use her. I rented her to them, but warned them that she wasn’t too hot. They still insisted that they would like to give her a try. The result was that the crazy fools all tried to get into her at once. Well, the strain was too much for her and she cracked right down the middle.”

Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells them, “Tonight’s specials are chicken almondine and fresh fish.”

“The chicken sounds good; I’ll have that,” Hillary says.

The waiter nods. “And for your vegetable,” he asks.

“Oh he’ll have the fish,” she replies.

There were 3 women at a bar and they were arguing over which one of them was the loosest.

The first woman said, ” My husband can stick two fingers up me.”

The second woman said, “Oh, big deal, my husband can stick his whole fist up me.”

Then the third woman slid down the bar stool.