Two little boys are sitting in the living room watching TV with their parents.

The mother looks over at the father with a wink and a nod towards upstairs. The mother turns back to the boys and says, “We’re going upstairs for a little while. You two stay here and watch TV. We’ll be right back. OK?”

The two boys nod OK and the parents take off upstairs.
The oldest of the two boys is old enough to know what’s going on now and he gets up and tiptoes upstairs. At the top of the stairs, he peeks into his mom and dad’s bedroom and shakes his head.

Back downstairs he goes to his little brother.

“Come with me,” he says.

And the two little boys tiptoe up the stairs. Halfway up, the older brother turns to his younger brother and says,
“Now I want you to keep in mind, this is the same woman who used to bust our asses for sucking our thumbs!!”

A blonde goes to take her driving test…she has studied very hard for this test. When she comes home from taking the test, her friend asked her how she did.

The blonde answered, “Well, the officer said I did very well, but I still don’t understand why he gave me an “F” on gender…”

“How was your blind date?” a college student asked her roommate.

“Terrible!” answered the roommate. “He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce.”

“Wow! That’s a very expensive car! What’s so bad about that?”

“He was the original owner.”

Elizabeth Taylor’s fabulous diamond ring drew the attention of Princess Margaret, who remarked, “That’s a bit vulgar.”

Miss Taylor persuaded the princess to try on the ring. “There, it’s not so vulgar now, is it?” she said.

A lady was sitting in a bar talking to the bartender. The bartender flicked the ashes off his cigarette and the cherry fell of into the ashtray.

“Shit, I just lost my cherry,” said the bartender.

The woman responded, “I lost my cherry too.. but I still have the box it came in.”