A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle, the phone rang, so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer it.

“It’s the Minister, Mommy,” the child said to her mother. Then she said to him, “Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.”

Yo mama’s so stupid she locked her keys in the car and couldn’t get out for a week!

Q:Two gay guys are fucking and the house catches on fire. Who gets out first?

A:The one on bottom, he already had his shit packed!!!

Q.How did the dog know the cat was a pussy?

A.He ate it.

Two soldiers went to a brothel to get some action. The madame told them that there was only one girl left and the two of them would have to share her.

“No problems,” says the first soldier. “We’re like brothers - we share everything.”

So they went upstairs to the room where the girl was waiting. The first soldier went in first while the second soldier waited outside. After fifteen minutes, the first soldier came out and was asked, “Well how was she?”

The first soldier replied, “Well, it’s not so bad but it can’t hold a candle to screwing my wife.” The second soldier then went in for his turn while the first soldier went downstairs to pass the time.

After twenty minutes, the second soldier came down and the first soldier asked, “Well?”

“Oh you’re right. Screwing your wife was so much better,” said the second soldier absentmindedly.