Young mother Jokes - page 4

Car name acronyms

ACURA -Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile AMC -All Makes Combined AMC -A Major Cost AMC -A Mutated Car AMC -A Moron’s Car AMC -Another Major Catastrophe AUDI -Accelerates Under Demonic Influence AUDI -All Unsafe Designs Implemented AUDI -Another Ugly Duetsche Invention AUDI -Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence AUDI -Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc. BMW -Babbling Mechanical Wench BMW -Beastly Monsterous Wonder BMW -Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels BMW -Beautiful Mechanical Wonder BMW -Barely Moving Wreck BMW -Big Money Waste BMW -Big Money. Why?…

(9)Loading...

Read JokeCar name acronyms

Coat Ordeal

A young, frazzled mother stood inside the front door, her arms full of coats. Four small children scurried around her. Her husband, coming down the stairs with every hair in place, asked why she was just standing there. “Here,” she said, handing him the coats. “This time, YOU put the children into their coats, and I’ll go sit in the car and honk the horn.”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeCoat Ordeal

A Deathbed Confession

A man lies on his deathbed, surrounded by his family: a weeping wife and four children. Three of the children are tall, good-looking and athletic; but the fourth and youngest is an ugly runt. “Darling wife,” the husband whispers, “assure me that the youngest child really is mine. I want to know the truth before I die, I will forgive you if–” The wife gently interrupts him. “Yes, my dearest, absolutely, no question, I swear on my mother’s grave that…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeA Deathbed Confession

Mom and Siblings

I have five siblings, three sisters and two brothers. One night I was chatting with my mom about how she had changed as a mother from the first child to the last. She told me she had mellowed a lot over the years: “When your oldest sister coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance. When your youngest brother swallowed a dime, I just told him it was coming out of his allowance.”

(1)Loading...

Read JokeMom and Siblings

Through the eyes of a child…

Children’s Comments An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps! Then the child spoke into the instrument: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?” Children on Religion….. A mother…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThrough the eyes of a child…

TAXI DRIVER

A young woman and Mandy, her 6-year-old daughter, were in New York City trying to hail a cab when the little girl noticed several women who were obviously prostitutes dressed outrageously and loitering seductively on a nearby street corner. A taxi pulled over and Mandy and her mother climbed in. As Mandy’s mother was about to tell the driver their destination, Mandy asked what the ladies on the corner were waiting for. Thinking quickly, her mother replied “They’re waiting for…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeTAXI DRIVER

On Second Thought

A young gay man calls up his mother to tell her that he is giving up being gay as he has met the woman who, he believes, is his soul mate. In fact he says, “We are so much in love that we plan to get married next month! That’s why I called you. I’m sure you will be happy to know that I have turned my back on the gay lifestyle.” “I am very happy indeed,” says his mother.…

(3)Loading...

Read JokeOn Second Thought

Smart 3-year-old

One morning a young 3 year old boy sat at the kitchen table in front of a bowl of cereal, thinking. When his mother noticed his thoughtful expression she thought it better not to disturb him. Later that afternoon the boy was still sitting there with a very concentrated expression. His mother was then curious but then decided just to leave him there. That night at dinner, he was still sitting at the table, chin in hand, with great thought…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeSmart 3-year-old

My thoughts, from my mind….

If your goal in life is to do as little as possible, and you get away with that…does that make you successful? If love is blind and marriage is an institution, does that mean that marriage is an institution for the blind? If you can buy more memory for your computer…why can’t people? What does an imperfect stranger look like? The term “free gift” never made sense to me…has anybody ever said to you…”I bought you a gift, now that…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeMy thoughts, from my mind….

Football Humor

Coach Bobby Ross had put together the perfect Lions team. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, but he couldn’t find a ringer quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl win. Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Bosnia. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeFootball Humor