Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
1. Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless. 2. Remember, you are known by the idiot you accompany. 3. Don’t imagine you can change a man, unless he’s in diapers. 4. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? SHUT THE DOOR! 5. So many men — so many reasons not to sleep with any of them. 6. If they put a man on the moon, we should be able…
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A true story . . . . When Apollo Mission Astronaut, Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous “One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Mankind” statement, but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he reentered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark, “Good luck, Mr. Gorsky.” Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some…
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One Friday morning, a teacher came up with a novel way to motivate her class. She told them that she would read a quote and the first student to correctly identify who said it would receive the rest of the day off. She started with “This was England’s finest hour.” Little Suzy instantly jumped up and said,” Winston Churchill.” “Congratulations said the teacher you may go home.” The teacher then said, “Ask not what your country can do for you…”…
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A man decides to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and is very satisfied with the results. One day he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?” “About 35,” he replies. “I’m actually 47!” the man says, feeling happy. After that he goes into McDonald’s for lunch, and asks the server the…
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I had to take my son’s hamster to the vet. Here’s what happened: Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was “something wrong” with one of the two hamsters he holds prisoner in his room. “He’s just lying there looking sick,” he told me. “Oldest trick in the book,” I informed him. “You go in to see what’s wrong with the sick one and the other one sneaks up behind you and bonks you…
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A certain elementary school got a new teacher. This new teacher was an atheist and proud of it. In fact, he was always talking about it, and since the kids were fairly young, he intimidated them. One day he boldly announced, “My mother was an atheist, my father was an atheist and I’m an atheist. How many in this room are atheists?” The kids, being a little scared of him, all raised their hands; all except one little girl. So…
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Upon graduation from high school in a very rural area, young John was to be escorted to “the big city” by ma and pa to scout out the location of the college he would be attending next year. Ma and Pa had never been to “the big city” either, but they were sure that they would be able to safely excort their precious son and help to answer any questions he might have-since everything in “the big city” would be…
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Earlier this year, when President Clinton visited various African nations, he had some interesting comments to say just prior to a press conference. At one of his stops, as he came down to the bottom of the steps off of Air Force One, a shapely African woman walked up to greet him. “Hello, young lady, what tribe do you belong to?” the President asks. “Ubange,” she answered, to which the President said, “Youbetcha. Right after the press conference.”
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While my wife and I were shopping at a mall kiosk, a shapely young woman in a short, form-fitting dress strolled by. My eyes followed her. Without looking up from the item she was examining, my wife asked, “Was it worth the trouble you’re in?”
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Three Jewish immigrant brothers named Moshe, Aaron and Daniel, had a dinner reunion to celebrate their fifteen years stay in America. Since Mother’s Day was just around the corner, they were discussing the gifts they would be giving their Momma back home in Israel. Moshe the eldest brother said, “I had a mansion built in Jerusalem and Momma would be moving into it on Mother’s Day.” Aaron the middle brother said, “I bought a special edition Mercedes Benz for Momma…
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