Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
In the days of horses and carts a couple get hitched. On the ride home after the reception, the fellows horse keeps playing up, every 100 yards or so the horse would come to a dead stop for no apparent reason. The groom jumps from the cart, walks to the horses face, holding one finger up…”That’s ONE!” he yells, and quickly remounts up onto the buggy. The bride shrugs this off, but another hundred yards down the track the horse…
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A very dumb man applies for a job at the supermarket. He gets the job. The first day his training started. His boss said “I’ll pretend to be the customer and you make a sale to me.” “Okay, let’s start. Excuse me sir, but how much are these oranges?” “Umm…I dunno,” replied the trainee lamely. “No, no, no! You’re supposed to say, ‘A dollar seventy-five’!” scolded the boss. “Let’s try again.” “Excuse me sir, but how much are these oranges?”…
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Spanish philosopher and poet George Santayana inherited his simple, unostentatious habits from his father. Once he asked the senior Santayana why he always traveled third class. “Because there’s no fourth class,” replied his father.
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1. Hey baby, why don’t you sit on my lap, and we’ll talk about the first thing that POPS up!!! 2. (motion for girl to come here with one finger), “If I can make you come with this finger, imagine what I could do with all five!” 3. Nice shoes, wanna fuck? 4.If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me? 5. Fuck me if I’m wrong….but haven’t we met before? 6. Do…
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Sung to the tune of “The ballad of Jed Clampett” From the BEVERLY HILLBILLIES Submitted by Rena Come and listen to my story ’bout a man named Gore A snippy Democrat, who was really quite a bore On election day of his Presidential bout He thought he lost the fight but he got to recount ballots that is… punch cards… butterflies Well the next thing you know they’re countin’ ’em again He lost a second time so he gave it…
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The Top Ten Ways to Tell if Martha Stewart is Stalking Your Dog: 10. There’s potpourri hanging from his/her collar. 9. The dog’s nails have been cut with pinking shears. 8. The dog’s toys are all stored in McCoy crocks. 7. The pooper scooper has been decorated with raffia bows. 6. The telltale lemon slice in the new silver water bowl. 5. You find liver and whole wheat dog treats stamped out with copper cookie cutters and decorated with royal…
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Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. However, all the league records were unfortunately destroyed in a fire. Thus, we’ll never know for whom the Tells bowled. –=[|]=– A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day his supply of the birds ran out, so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back,…
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One day Father Murphy couldn’t find his cat. Once he did, he found it in a tree. The tree was too high for him to climb so he tied a rope to the branch and the other end to his truck. He began to pull the branch down and was almost done when the rope broke. The cat went soaring through the air. He went all through the neighborhood to see if anyone saw it but no one did. A…
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When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way. Never tow another car using pantyhose and duct tape. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving. Do not remove the seats from the car so that all your kids can fit in. Unlike clothes and shoes, a toothbrush should…
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A farmer had 250 hens he wanted to mate, but his rooster was old and he needed a new one. He went to see his neighbor, and after some haggling over the price, which he thought was too high, he took home a young rooster. When he got back to the farm, he told the rooster that he could take his time, because he had no competition, and he should enjoy himself. He turned him loose in the hen house…
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