Ya Jokes - page 11

temel bir gun….:P

Somebody Translate this one!!! I’ve just gotta know! (comedy.com management) temel ispanya’da bir lokantaya gitmis:bana g?n?n en ozel yemegini getirin demis.garson getirmis. temel: “ben bunu cok begendim da bu ne etidir?”demis. garson: “boga guresinde yenilen bogan?n etidir.”demis temel bi hafta sonra yine gitmis ama bu sefer begenmemis: “ha gecenki daha guzeldi bunun tadi niye farkli?” garson: “her zaman yenilen boga olmuyor.”demis…..ehuehuehueueu

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Drunks at the Zoo

Two drunks wander into a zoo after midnight, and end up standing in front of the Lion cage. The Lion, who was asleep, hears them approach his cage and wakes up, of course. Not wishing to be stared at, he leashes out a couple of mighty roars. One drunk starts to wander off, but the other drunk grabs his arm and says, “Whaddaya leaving for, Herbie? The picture’s just started!”

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Tough Cat, Even Tougher Dog!

One night out on the back yard fence, 3 tom cats happen to meet, and start bragging about which one is the toughest. The first cat says, “Hey boys, I’ve caught up to 100 mice in a single night… I’m the best mouser around!” The second cat says,” That’s nothing, I can eat 10 boxes of catnip and it doesn’t even give me a buzz!!” The third cat just turns around and starts walking back down the fence..The other 2…

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Golfer’s Distraction

Two friends had arranged a round of golf and were now on the first tee, preparing to start their game at 7 a.m. Just as the first golfer was half way up his back swing, a good-looking young lady ran across the course about 10 yards in front of him, peeling off her clothes as she went, until she was totally naked. As she disappeared into the woods, he turned, dazed, to his companion, “What was THAT about?!!!” “Take no…

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Best Emergency Room Stories

Believe Them…Or Not AUGUSTA, ME – Four people were injured in a string of bizarre accidents. Sherry Moeller was admitted with a head wound caused by flying masonry, Tim Vegas was diagnosed with a mild case of whiplash and contusions on his chest, arms and face, Bryan Corcoran suffered torn gum tissue, and Pamela Klesick’s first two fingers of her right hand had been bitten off. Moeller had just dropped her husband off for his first day of work and,…

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boat trouble

Two blondes, Tina & Tanya, were out sailing one day when one of them noticed water coming up through a hole in the bottom of the boat. “The boat is leaking! Quick, do something!” Tina exclaimed. “No problem,” said Tanya, and she started making another hole right next to the first. “What on earth are you doing?” Tina asked. Tanya replied, “I’m making a hole for the water to drain out of.”

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Bushisms, pt 1

“I don’t want nations feeling like that they can bully ourselves and our allies. I want to have a ballistic defense system so that we can make the world more peaceful, and at the same time I want to reduce our own nuclear capacities to the level commiserate with keeping the peace.” ?Des Moines, Iowa, Oct. 23, 2000 “Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.”?LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000 “If I’m the president, we’re going to…

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Grammar

Two ladies are sitting next to each other on a plane. One is a Yankee and the other, a Southern Belle. The Southern Belle turns to the Yankee and asks, “So, where y’all from?” The Yankee turned her steely gaze to the Southern Belle and replied, “I am from a place where we do NOT end our sentences with a preposition.” Silence ensues and the flight continues until a few minutes later when the Southern Belle again turns to the…

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Fore !!

A lady begins her first shot of the day off the tee. Unfortunately it slices and before she can yell FORE! It hits a man about 150 yrds away. The man throws his hands together, reaches in between his legs and drops! Feeling terrible about this, the lady runs to him and says, “Are you alright?” He just moans rolling back and forth on the ground with his hands at his crotch. She says, “Let me help you. I’m a…

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Manipulating the system…

The phone rings at KGB headquarters. “Hello?” “Hello, is this KGB?” “Yes. What do you want?” “I’m calling to report my neighbor Yankel Rabinovitz as an enemy of the State. He is hiding undeclared diamonds inside his firewood.” “This will be noted,” said the KGB operative. The next day, the KGB goons come over to Rabinovitz’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no diamonds, swear at Yankel Rabinovitz and leave.…

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