Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
INNER SKELETON A 63 year old widow was admitted to hospital in Recife, Brazil, suffering abdominal pains. X-rays showed that she was carrying a 20 inch long skeleton of a fetus which she conceived a decade earlier. It had become lodged outside the womb and was never expelled from her body. FEMALE SOFA A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in the hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found under…
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A man and a woman were just finishing up a first date on the woman’s doorstep. She gives him a kiss and says goodbye. The man says, “Wait a minute. Aren’t you going to invite me upstairs?” The woman, obviously surprised at his question, replies, “Oh, my. Well, I just coudn’t invite a man into my room on the first date!” And the man asks, “Oh? Well how about a last date?”
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One day a little boy by the name Timothy who was about 6 years old went to his mom and asked her, “How old are you?” The mom said, “There are some things you should never ask a woman and that is one of them. You will understand when you get older.” Then the boy asked his mom, “Mommy, how much do you weigh?” The mom replied, “Like I said, there are some things you should never ask a woman…
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There once was a young person named Little Red Riding Hood who lived on the edge of a large forest full of endangered owls and rare plants that would probably provide a cure for cancer if only someone took the time to study them. Red Riding Hood lived with a nurture giver whom she sometimes referred to as “mother”, although she didn’t mean to imply by this term that she would have thought less of the person if a close…
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A woman has been married to her husband for ten years, and for all those ten years her husband insisted on making love in the dark. No matter how much she asked him, he would never turn the lights on. One night she grew tired of this and turned on the light while they were making love and saw that he was using a dildo. She said, “Honey, is this what you’ve been using all this time? How could you…
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Three men were walking through an alley when they spotted a genie lamp. They rubbed it vigorously to see what would happen. The genie came out and said, “I am the Genie of the lamp. Since there are three of you, you will each have one wish.” They all thought long and hard then the first guy said, “I want to be 10% smarter.” *POOF* he’s 10% smarter. Well the second guy wanted to top the first. He wanted to…
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There were these three nuns and they were trying to get into heaven. So God appeared and said, “Answer this question correctly, and I’ll let you in.” So he asked the first nun, “Who was the first man on earth?” The nun said, “Adam” So God said, “Bamm! You’re in heaven.” So he asked the second nun, “Who was the first woman on earth?” And she said, “Eve!” So God said, “Bamm! You’re in heaven.” Finally it was the third…
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A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for awhile?” She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, “No, I WON’T sleep with you tonight!” Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and…
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A woman in a furniture store had her eye on a really nice sofa she thought would look great in her den. She said to the salesman, “I really like this sofa but my husband will probably think it costs too much”. The salesman replied, “But you only make a small payment down and then don’t make any payments for six months.” The woman immediately responded, “Who told you about us?”
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As you know, I have been delivering presents to good boys and girls for several centuries, but after bypass surgery last Spring, I feel that I can no longer visit every home on earth in the early hours of Christmas morning. Accordingly, I have asked a distant cousin on my father’s side if he would assume some of my responsibilities by visiting the homes in the southern USA, as he is from the deep South himself…actually the South Pole. His…
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