Woman to woman Jokes - page 4

Loving woman?

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman “Give me six double vodkas.” The barman says “Wow! you must have had one hell of a day.” “Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.” The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, “I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay…

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A Woman Is What She Drinks

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman’s personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results: Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool. Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the ass. Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy. Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what…

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What A Single Woman Wants In A Man

ORIGINAL List (Before she’s 40 years old) 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially Successful 4. A Caring Listener 5. Witty 6. In Good Shape 7. Dresses with Style 8. Appreciates the Finer Things 9. Full of Thoughtful Surprises 10. An Imaginative, Romantic Lover REVISED List (When she’s 40 years old and beyond) 1. Not too ugly 2. Doesn’t belch or scratch in public 3. Works steady 4. Doesn’t nod off while she’s emoting 5. Usually remembers the punchlines of jokes…

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REASONS TO LIVE WITH A DOG INSTEAD OF A WOMAN

1. Dogs love it when your friends come over. 2. Dogs don’t expect you to call when you’re running late. 3. The later you are, the more excited they are to see you. 4. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs. 5. Dogs don’t mind if you give their offspring away. 6. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor. 7. A dog’s parents never visit. 8. Dogs understand that instincts are better than…

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Truth about Creation

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God. “Lord, I have a problem!” “What’s the problem, Eve?” “Lord, I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious, comedic snake, but I’m just not happy.” “Why is that, Eve?” came the reply from above. “Lord, I am lonely, and I’m sick to death of apples.” “Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create…

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Displeased Sultan

A sultan is bored with all the jugglers and clowns, so he warns his servant, “Unless you find some good entertainment for me tonight, it’s off with your head!” The man is terrified, but he vows he will not fail. Day turns to night, and it’s time for the show. “Well what have you got for me?” the sultan booms. “Tonight, Sire,” squeaks the servant, “we have a man who will make love to a dozen women before your very…

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