Wit Jokes - page 21

2 Black Kids Go Trick-or-treating

One Halloween night, two African American children, who are brother and sister, put on their costumes and go out of the house for some trick or treat. At the first house they stop by, the boy rings the doorbell. After a few minutes, an old white woman opens the door and asks, “And who might you two be?” “We’re Hansel and Gretel!” says the boy. “But you can’t be Hansel and Gretel. They’re white!” insists the old woman who promptly…

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Read Joke2 Black Kids Go Trick-or-treating

Trading Presents

Two friends, an Italian boy and a Jewish boy, come of age at the same time. The Italian boy’s father presents him with a brand-new pistol. On the other side of town, at his Bar Mitzvah, the Jewish boy receives a beautiful gold watch. The next day in school, the two boys are showing each other what they got. It turns out that each boy likes the other’s present better, and so they trade. That night, when the Italian boy…

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Self-Service Gas Station

I have a blonde friend who filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had paid and driven away, he realized that he had left the gas cap on top of his car. He stopped and looked and, sure enough, it was gone. Well, he thought for a second and realized that other people must have done the same thing, and that it was worth going back to look by the side of the road since…

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Little Red Mouse

One day a boy came home from school with a problem. His dick was too big. He said to his mother, “Mom, my dick’s too big, what should I do?” She replied, “Ask your father about that.” So, the boy entered the living room and said to his father, “Dad, my dick’s too big, what should I do?” He answered, “Paint it red and call it your Little Red Mouse.” The boy did as he was told and went to…

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Take the Temperature

The general was confined to the military hospital for treatment of a minor malady. For almost a week he made a complete nuisance of himself, irritating both staff and the other patients, demanding attention and expecting his every order to be followed immediately. He was in a six-man ward rather than a private room, his meals were too cold or not served to suit his taste, the light needed to be adjusted to his demands, the nighttime activities interfered with…

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The 3 Little Pigs….updated

Once upon a time, there were 3 little pigs. The straw pig, the stick pig and the brick pig. One day, this nasty old wolf came up to the straw pig’s house and said, “I’m gonna huff, and puff and blow your house down.” So he did! The straw pig went running over to the stick pig’s house and said “Let me in, please, the wolf just blew down my house!!” So the stick pig let the straw pig in.…

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Read JokeThe 3 Little Pigs….updated

Hold it!

This 92 year old man has been getting along by himself for years in his own house when he starts to become forgetful and begins to experience a few problems. His daughter suggests that maybe it’s time he goes into a home for the elderly. The old man reluctantly agrees, but recognizes that he might actually enjoy being around other people who probably share some of his interests, etc. So the daughter makes the arrangements, gets her father to the…

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Defamation Of Character

A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined. After the trial he asked the judge, “This means that I cannot call Mrs. Compton a pig?” The judge said that was true. “Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Compton?” the man asked. The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Compton with no fear of legal…

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New Mercedes

Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little Christmas shopping with Jan, his regular saleswoman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his browsing. Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, “OSCAR! OSCAR! I…

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Read JokeNew Mercedes