Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Thursday, as my girlfriend was puttering around in the kitchen, getting ready to cook our turkey, she said to me, “Did you thaw the turkey?” With a slight grin, I responded by saying, “Yeth. I thaw the turkey thitting in the think. Thee? Why don’t you look for it before athking me if I thaw it? I thee a lot with theeth two eyeth!” She smacked me with the gravy ladle.
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A dwarf with a lisp goes to an agricultural show to buy a mare. He wanders around until he comes across a beautiful mare inside a small enclosure with a farmer standing at the gate. He goes up to the farmer and says, “Excthuth me, can I have a look at your horth?” “Sure”, says the farmer,”come on in.” The dwarf wanders round and round the mare and then stops, says to the farmer “Her eyeth, her eyeth, I want…
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Part of my friend’s job as a technical writer is to help produce the company newsletter which goes to their clients. He was asked to come up with a list (ala Letterman’s Top Ten List) of funny things one can do with Thanksgiving leftovers. He applied my head-bone to the problem for an hour and we came up with this list. Seal them in concrete and call it a time capsule. Send it to the Smithsonian with instructions to open…
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Fred and Jim are having a quiet beer one night when Fred announces that he’s going to divorce his wife. “Good grief,” says Jim, “You and Sue are the happiest couple I know – why on earth would you want to divorce such a lovely woman after all these years of obvious bliss?” “Well,” replies Fred, “Truth be known I’m just bored with pokin’ the same hole night after night after night. I guess I’m hankerin’ for a bit of…
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1. I’ve smoked fatter joints than that. 2. Ahh, it’s cute. 3. Stop fingering me. 4. I’m sorry. 5. Who circumcised you? 6. Why don’t we just cuddle? 7. You know they have surgery to fix that. 8. It’s more fun to look at. 9. Make it dance. 10. You know, there’s a tower in Italy like that. 11. Can I paint a smiley face on that? 12. It looks like a nightcrawler. 13. Wow, and your feet are so…
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What do balls and Jehova’s witnesses have in common? They always come in pairs and you never let them in.
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During World War II, Private Goldstein was anxious to get married before going overseas, but he was stationed in a small town in South Carolina and couldn’t get a furlough. His fiancee, Becky, was perfectly willing to come to South Carolina, and did so; but once there, a difficult problem arose. Becky was a pious girl and insisted on being married by an Orthodox Jewish rabbi. In the small town where Goldstein was stationed, however, there were no Jews, let…
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One day a girl went to the doctor’s office to get a physical. When she took off her shirt the doctor noticed an “A” imprinted on her stomach. So, he said to the girl, “Why in the world is there an “A” on your stomach?” The girl replied, “Well, my boyfriend came home from Arizona State College to visit me, and we got at it so hard his sweatshirt left it on my stomach. The doctor was amazed!! Then, the…
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“Have you read today’s headlines in the local paper?” said one friend to another. “No,” was the reply. “They say that a whale was found dead on the beach and that an autopsy was performed. The results were that the giant mammal died of AIDS!” “You’ve got to be kidding!” said the friend. “Do they know how the whale was infected?” “Yes,” was the response, “they say it was rearended by a ferry!”
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Why can’t the witch have babies? Because her boyfriend has a Hallo-weenie!
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