Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
On one spring day there was this eighty-five year old man and eighty year old woman who had just gotten married. On their way to their honeymoon the old man looks at his new bride and thinks to himself, after all these years he is finally going to get laid again. When they finally arrive at the hotel the old couple starts to unpack. At that time the wife decides to go the bathroom to freshen up. While she is…
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A group of friends, who prided themselves on their intelligence, set out to have a contest of wits. Each person in turn asked a question and anyone who volunteered an answer that was wrong dropped out. If no one could answer, the questioner himself had to answer, and if he was wrong, he dropped out. Each dropout had to put $5 into the pot. Eventually, the matter boiled down to Jason and Dean, and the erudition of each one boiled…
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1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. – Patrick, age 10 2. When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” don’t answer him. – Michael, 14 3. Never tell your mom her diet’s not working. – Michael, 14 4. Stay away from prunes. – Randy, 9 5. Never pee on an electric fence. – Robert, 13 6. Don’t squat with your spurs on. – Noronha, 13 7. Don’t pull dad’s finger when he tells…
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Dave had tried to be particularly careful about his language, as he played golf with his preacher. But on the twelfth hole, when he twice failed to hit out of a sand trap, he lost his resolve and let fly with a string of expletives. The preacher felt obliged to respond. “I have observed,” he said, in a calm voice, “that the best golfers do not use foul language.” “I guess not,” said Dave. “What the hell do they have…
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I was puzzled when a friend with a local newspaper remarked: “I think I’ll take a look at who has given up smoking today.” Thinking that the paper had come up with a novel, human-interest column, I peered over his shoulder, only to find that he was looking at the death notices!
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A businessman was talking with his barber, when they both noticed a goofy-looking fellow bouncing down the sidewalk. The barber whispered, “That’s Tommy, one of the stupidest kids you’ll ever meet. Here, I’ll show you.” “Hey Tommy! Come here!” yelled the barber. Tommy came bouncing over. “Hi Mr. Williams!” The barber pulled out a rusty dime and a shiny quarter and told Tommy he could keep the one of his choice. Tommy looked long and hard at the dime and…
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During the American Civil War, a particular captured Confederate soldier was a hard man to handle. Constantly, in his soft drawl, he would say, “Anyway, we beat the hell out of you sniveling Yankee dogs at Fredericksburg.” The Northern sergeant in charge could not punish the impertinent prisoner as he would have liked because there was a drive on at the time to make sure that prisoners were treated humanely. Finally, however, he could stand it no more. He marched…
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During the championship ceremony of The Ryder Cup, Leonard noticed that his wife’s bra had a hole on the far side. He said, “Honey, there’s something amiss with your bra.” Mrs. Leonard replied, “No Honey, That’s my New Ryder Cup Championship Bra. It’s got a hole in one.”
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Every March 19, without fail, the swallows come back to Capistrano. Ever wonder why? Maybe it’s to see the human tourists who, without fail, return to Capistrano every March 19.
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By the time the sailor pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. “You’ve got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded. “Or just a bed, I don’t care where. “Well, I do have a double room with one occupant – an Air Force guy,” admitted the manager, “and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I’m…
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