Wings Jokes - page 3

A Dutch friend told me the following nationalistic joke, which is portable to any in-group/out-group situation. It’s best told with some physical illustration on the part of the teller: Two Belgians are digging a deep hole while a Dutch foreman stands at the top of the hole and gives them orders. The slightly more intelligent Belgian asks, “Why are we digging while he stands up there and does nothing?” “I dunno,” says the slightly less intelligent Belgian, and climbs up…

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Once upon a time, Sam The Clam and Myrtle The Turtle fell in love. Sam Clam, as Myrtle would call him, owned a discotheque and every night both would dance and dance until the wee hours of the morning. One early evening, tragedy struck and Myrtle The Turtle passed away and went to heaven. When she arrived at the pearly gates, St. Peter gave her the customary angel’s wings, a halo, and a harp, and evaluated her life. “Myrtle, you…

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I know it’s long, but it’s worth reading:o) Occasionally, airline flight attendants make an effort to make the “in-flight safety lecture” a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: “As we prepare for takeoff, please make sure your tray tables and seat backs are fully upright in their most uncomfortable position.” “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 6 ways out of this airplane…” “Your seat cushions…

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Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make their announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane…” “We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wings.” “Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person…

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A traveling salesman visits to a small town in the Midwest and sees a circus banner reading, “Don’t miss the Amazing Goldstein!” Curious, he buys a ticket and sits through the usual circus acts. Animals, clowns, contortionists, and other questionable acts. Finally the trumpets blare and all eyes turn to the center ring. There in the middle of the ring is a table with three walnuts on it. In comes a little old Jewish man, five feet tall and barely…

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