Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
“Something you’ll never hear a woman say: ‘My, what an attractive scrotum!’” “I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it. I said, ‘Thyroid problem?’” “My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.” “I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.” “There are only two reasons to sit on the back row of an airplane: Either you…
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They’re supportive. They’re uplifting. They help you to achieve new heights. You expect to find them in your underwear drawer. If they’re too uptight, it’s easy to loosen them up. You can let them under your shirt on a first date. It’s legal to lock them in the dryer. They coordinate with your underwear (not to be confused with men, who are coordinated once in your underwear). If you outgrow them, it’s easy to throw them away and get a…
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George W. is walking in the airport when he sees a man with a long white beard and long white hair. George W. walks up to him and asks him if he is Moses. The man doesn’t say anything and keeps on walking away. George W. is puzzled and catches up with the old man and again asks him if he is Moses. The old man looks at him, then walks away even faster. Now, George W. is really getting…
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THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS THAT PRESIDENT CLINTON SHOULD HAVE GIVEN: “Members of Congress…people of America…I banged her. I banged her like a cheap gong. Which is not news, folks, because if you think Monica Lewinsky was the only skin flute player in my orchestra, you haven’t been paying attention. The only babes in D.C. I haven’t tried to do are the First Lady, Reno, Albright, and Shalala, mostly because they’re a little older than I like and they…
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A 75 year-old Englishman, whose hair was completely white, married a 20-year Swedish girl and she got pregnant soon afterwards. Nine months later, the Englishman walked into the maternity ward and asked the nurse on duty, “How did my wife do?” The nurse replied, “She gave birth to twin boys.” He chuckled, “Heh, heh, heh, well, I guess that goes to show even when there’s snow on the roof, there can still be fire in the furnace.” The nurse commented,…
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YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…
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A man walks into a tee shirt store. There are 3 shirts on display. The first has a picture of Richard Nixon with a white mustache. Below, the picture is titled “Got Milk?” The second tee shirt has a picture of Ronald Reagan with a white mustache. It is entitled “Forgot milk”. The third tee shirt has a picture of Monica Lewinsky with a white mustache on it. It’s entitled “Not Milk”.
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Jimmie, an 80-year-old gentleman, retired to Florida after his wife of 58 years had passed away. He was quite alone in the world and longed for companionship again. One day, as he was walking through a public park, he spied what he considered to be a very pretty, silver-haired lady sitting alone on a park bench. Getting his nerve up, he approached the lady and asked graciously, “Pardon me, ma’am, but may I sit here with you?” The silver-haired Marcie…
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“I’m going fishing.” Really means… “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” “Let’s take your car.” Really means…. “Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas.” “Woman driver.” Really means…. “Someone who doesn’t speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me.” “I don’t care what color you paint the kitchen.”…
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SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…
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