Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A blond says to her boyfriend, ” Sweetie while you’re out I want to repaint our bedroom” The boyfriend replies, “Ok” When he gets home he finds his girlfriend lying in a pile of sweat wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat. He then asks her, “Why are you wearing two jackets?” She replies, “Well on the paint can it said put on two coats for better results.
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On one of the rare occasions that the Clintons were sleeping in the same bed, Hillary awoke at 2 a.m. and had to go to the bathroom. She shook Bill vigorously until he awoke from his deep slumber, mumbling, “What. . .what. . .what?” “I have to go to the bathroom,” Hillary says. “Well, why in the hell did you wake me up to tell me that?” “I want you to save my place!”
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An optometrist operates on a hippie painter’s girlfriend and saves her eyesight. The hippie painter is so grateful that he goes to the doctor’s house one day, while the doctor has office hours, goes inside and paints a huge eye on an entire wall of the living room, leaving the fireplace as the pupil of the eye. He’s just finishing up when the doctor walks in. He says to the doctor, “Well, do you like it man?” The doctor says,…
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On one spring day there was this eighty-five year old man and eighty year old woman who had just gotten married. On their way to their honeymoon the old man looks at his new bride and thinks to himself, after all these years he is finally going to get laid again. When they finally arrive at the hotel the old couple starts to unpack. At that time the wife decides to go the bathroom to freshen up. While she is…
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By the time the sailor pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. “You’ve got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded. “Or just a bed, I don’t care where. “Well, I do have a double room with one occupant – an Air Force guy,” admitted the manager, “and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I’m…
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An old lady and her husband are walking to their house one night after an evening out on the town. She hears a buzzing noise and searches throughout the house to see what it is but can’t figure it out. So she goes in to her daughter’s room to find her on the end of her bed with a vibrator. The old lady says, “What the hell are you doing!!??” The daughter replies, “Mom, I am 40 years old, I’m…
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1. HOTFLASHES You sell your home heating system at a yard sale. 2. NIGHT SWEATS The person you sleep with complains about snow piling up on the bed. 3. MOOD SWINGS Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him. 4. MEMORY LOSS You write post-it notes with your kids’ names on them. 5. IRRITABILITY Your husband…
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In a young classroom, three young children are discussing their fathers’ careers. The first boy says, “My Dad writed words on a piece of paper. He calls it a poem, and gets paid ?100 for it.” The boys agree this is impressive. The second boy says, “My Dad also writes words on a piece of paper. He calls his a song and gets paid ?1000 for it.” They all agree this is also impressive. The third boy says, “My Dad…
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A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule at 2 a.m. Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed. She sleepily sat up and said, “Mike, Dearest, would you go down to the all-night drug store on the next block and get me some aspirin? I’ve got a splitting headache.” “Certainly,…
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In a classroom one day the teacher asked her students, for homework, to think of a true story that has a moral. So the next day she asked Wendy to come up first. The teacher says, “Alright Wendy, what’s your story?” “Well,” Wendy started,”My grandfather lives on a farm and he has chickens. He wanted to sell all the eggs at the market but they didn’t make it to the market because the back of the truck broke and they…
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