Walking time Jokes - page 4

That’s a Cow?

On his first date with a woman who wasn’t overly intelligent, Ogden decided to take her to the county fair. While walking around and looking at all the festivities, they came to the area where they auction livestock. Ogen’s date walked up to one of the pens and asked, “Ogden, why doesn’t this cow have horns?” “Well,” replied Ogden, ” sometimes cows don’t get horns until they are 7 or 8 years old. And sometimes, cows don’t get horns until…

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Growing up too soon?

A guy’s walking down the street and sees Dirty Johnny smoking a cigarette. He says, “Kid, you’re too young to smoke.” Johnny looks up and doesn’t say anything. The guy says, “How old are you?” Johnny says, “Six.” The guy says, “Six? When did you start smoking?” Johnny says, “Right after the first time I got laid.” The guy says, “Right after the first time you got laid? When was that?” Johnny says, “I don’t remember. I was drunk.”

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Making Way

A professor was walking along a very narrow lane when he came face to face with a rival professor. The lane was too narrow for both of them to pass at the same time. The rival, pulling himself up to his full height, said haughtily: “I never make way for fools!” Smiling, the professor stepped aside and said, “I always do.”

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3 blondes

There were three blondes walking along the beach. While they were walking, they find a geenie. The geenie says that they can each have one wish. The first blonde wishes to be a thousand times smarter, so her hair turns light brown and she becomes a brain surgeon. the secound one wishes to be a million times smarter and her hair gets a really dark brown and she finds a cure for cancer. The third blonde wishes to be a…

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Twenty-two

Jack is walking past an insane asylum one day. As he gets closer to the fence, he hears a lot of voices chanting, “Twenty-two! Twenty-two!” This attracts Jacks curiosity, and it just so happened that at just that time, Jack came upon a knothole in the fence. He bent over, and as he peeked inside, a finger reached through the hole from the other side and poked him in the eye. He staggered backwards, and continued walking down the sidewalk.…

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68 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those electronic cars at the front of the store. 3. Set all the alarm clock to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 4. Start playing football; see how many people you can get to join in. 5. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him, “I need some…

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Rejected

One day, a father and son were walking along the beach when they came across a dead seagull lying on its back. Curiously, the son asked, “Daddy, what’s wrong with the bird?” “There comes a time in your life when you die,” said the father. “Where do you go when you die?” said the son. “Up to heaven,” said the father. “What happens in heaven?” said the son. “God invites you into his kingdom,” said the father. “Then, why did…

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Rabbi’s Bike

There was a Rabbi that would always ride his bike. One day a priest noticed that the Rabbi wasn’t on his bike. So the priest stopped him and asked, “Where’s your bike? You are always riding it.” The Rabbi said, “I had it yesterday and I think someone stole it.” The priest said, “The next time you preach say the 10 commandments. Then when you get on I shall not steal the robber is bound to come out.” So a…

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Bed, Couch or Floor ?

A man entered very slowly into this hooker’s room. Looking at his slowness in walking and unbuttoning shirt, the hooker became impatient and said, “Come on hurry up, I have more business to do.” Now for you the rate is, $10 on the floor, $20 on the couch, and $30 on the bed. Pay the service charge first and get down to work.” The guy opened his wallet and put thirty dollar neatly on the bed. “I see, so you…

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American Cuisine

Two immigrants, new to America, are wandering around on their first day off the boat in New York City, seeing the sights. Pretty soon they realize it’s time for lunch and they’re hungry from walking around all morning. They see a street vendor selling hotdogs. The first immigrant says, “I can’t believe it! They eat dogs in America.” The second immigrant, although equally shocked, replies, “Well, we’re going to be Americans now, so we have to behave like Americans and…

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