Waiting room Jokes - page 2

Medical Mural

Every newspaper in New York sent a reporter and a staff photographer to the office of a local ophthalmologist when it was learned that he recently performed a successful sight-saving operation on the wife of the country’s most celebrated pop artist. In addition to paying the doctor’s usual fee, he had gratefully insisted on painting one of his contemporary masterpieces across an entire wall of the doctor’s waiting room. The mural turned out to be an immense multi-colored picture of…

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Make the visit worthwhile….

A fellow was sitting in the doctor’s waiting room, and said to himself every so often, “Lord I hope I’m sick!” After about the 5th or 6th time, the receptionist couldn’t stand it any longer and asked, “Why in the world would you want to be sick, Mr. Adams?” The man replied, “I’d hate to be well & feel like this!”

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Snooze Control

A two year old girl was with her mother while her older sister was being examined by a dentist. The girl kept herself busy playing with toys in the waiting room until she noticed that her mother was resting, her eyes closed. With about six other patients waiting, the little girl marched up to her mother, looked her straight in the face and shook her shoulder. “Mommy,” she yelled, “Wake up! This is not church!”

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20 MORE signs of a Cheap HMO

1. Pedal-powered dialysis machines. 2. Use of antibiotics deemed an “unauthorized experimental procedure,” 3. Head-wound victim in the waiting room is on the last chapter of “War and Peace,” 4. Exam room has a tip jar. 5. You swear you saw salad tongs and a crab fork on the instrument tray just before the anesthesia kicked in. 6. “Will you be paying in eggs or pelts?” 7. Tight budget prevents acquisition of separate rectal thermometers. 8. “Take two leeches and…

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Don’t Mess With My Uncle (Morals)

In a classroom one day the teacher asked her students, for homework, to think of a true story that has a moral. So the next day she asked Wendy to come up first. The teacher says, “Alright Wendy, what’s your story?” “Well,” Wendy started,”My grandfather lives on a farm and he has chickens. He wanted to sell all the eggs at the market but they didn’t make it to the market because the back of the truck broke and they…

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Honeymoon’s over

An old man and a old woman get married. After the reception, they go to their hotel room. The old man is waiting in bed as his new wife removes her clothes. As soon as she is ready, she says, “Now, we have to be careful, I have acute angina.” The old man says, “You better, because you sure have some ugly tits!!”

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2-for-1 Hitman

There are these friends who play golf together every Saturday. One Saturday they were getting ready to tee off when a guy asked them if he could join them. The friends looked at each other and then looked at the man and said, “Sure.” So they teed off. About two holes into the game, the friends got curious about what the man did for a living, so they asked him. The stranger told them that he was a hitman. They…

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Who Died The Worst Death?

Three men stand before St. Peter awaiting admission into Heaven. However, St. Peter has been informed that Heaven will only admit 33% of applicants today. The admissions standard: Who died the worst death? So, St. Peter takes each of the three men aside in turn and asks them about how they died. First man: “I’d been suspecting for a long time that my wife was cheating on me. I decided to come home early from work one afternoon and check…

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Blind man’s RUBBER…

This man, his wife, and their EIGHT children, and a blind man, were waiting at the bus stop one day. The bus came, the wife got on, then the eight children one, by one. The two men had to walk because there was no more room on the bus. The family man, and the blind man are walking along and the constant tapping of the blind man’s cane REALLY started to annoy him. So he said to the blind man,…

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Cheap Train Ride

A group of four engineers and a group of four accountants were all waiting in line to buy tickets for the train going to New York, each group going to a different convention. Each of the accountants went to the window and bought a ticket. They noticed that only one of the engineers bought a ticket. They wondered how they were all going to ride on only one ticket. Everyone boarded the train, and all four engineers crowded into the…

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