Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jesus is wandering around Jerusalem when he decides he really needs a new robe. After looking around, he sees a sign for ‘Finkelstein, the Tailor.’ He goes in and Finkelstein prepares a new robe for him, which is a perfect fit. When Jesus asks how much he owes, Finkelstein brushes him off: “No, no, no, for the Son of God? There’s no charge! However, may I ask a small favor? Maybe whenever you give a sermon you could just mention…
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A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money…
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A political activist named Dave was just arriving in Hell, and was told he had a choice to make. He could go to Capitalist Hell or to Communist Hell. Naturally, Dave wanted to compare the two, so he wandered over to Capitalist Hell. There outside the door was Adam Smith, looking bored. “What’s it like in there?” asked Dave. “Well,” replied Adam, “In Capitalist Hell, they flay you alive, boil you in oil, chain you to a rock and let…
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There were two Indians and a Polish fellow walking in the desert together, when suddenly one of the Indians took off and ran up a hill to the mouth of a cave. Then, he hollered into the cave, “Woo! Woo! Woo! A moment later, the Indian heard a response, “Woo! Woo! Woo!” so he tore off his clothes and ran into the cave. The puzzled Polish fellow asked the other Indian what that was all about, and the Indian replied,…
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Suppose Edgar Allen Poe Had Used a Computer… Once upon a midnight dreary, Fingers cramped and vision bleary, Systems manuals piled high and Wasted paper on the floor. Longing for the warmth of bed sheets Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets, Having reached the bottom line, I took a floppy from the drawer. Typing with a steady hand, I then invoked the SAVE command, And waited for the disk to store, Only this and nothing more. Deep into the monitor…
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EXCITABLE: Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts. SOCIABLE: Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not. CROSSEYES: Looks into next urinal to see how other guy is hung. TIMID: Cannot piss if someone is wastching, flushes urinal, comes back later. INDIFFERENT: All urinals being used, pisses in sink. CLEVER: No hands, fixes tie, looks around and usually pisses on floor. FRIVOLOUS: Plays stream up, down, and across urinals, tries to hit fly or bug. WORRIED:…
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This important woman went to Israel. When she got off the plane, she said, “Where’s my dog? Where’s the case?” The EL-AL airline people finally find the case in the baggage room. They open it up, and the dog is dead. They’re all upset; they know the woman will kill them. They go and get the manager, and they tell him the dog is dead and the woman is carrying on, waiting for her dog. “She’s shrieking, she’s complaining; she…
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I have always been a critic of Seattle driving, but recently I had a chance to see how others drive in far away countries, such as China. Since then, I have developed a profound respect for how we drive here in the Northwest. Why? What could be so bad about the driving in China? Here is a collection of short observations I have made riding in the Great Country of China. While Driving in China……………………… Traffic signals are (how should…
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1. Pedal-powered dialysis machines. 2. Use of antibiotics deemed an “unauthorized experimental procedure,” 3. Head-wound victim in the waiting room is on the last chapter of “War and Peace,” 4. Exam room has a tip jar. 5. You swear you saw salad tongs and a crab fork on the instrument tray just before the anesthesia kicked in. 6. “Will you be paying in eggs or pelts?” 7. Tight budget prevents acquisition of separate rectal thermometers. 8. “Take two leeches and…
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A successful businessman flew to Las Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket; if he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabby. He promised to send the driver…
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