Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
This guy and girl just got married so they decided to be together. She said, “You must be gentle, I’m still a virgin.” He replies, “How the hell can you still be a virgin if you were married three times before me?” She says, “Well my first husband was a gynocologist and all he wanted to do was look at it. My second husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it. And well, my…
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MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET WOMAN: A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS ELEMENT: Woman SYMBOL: WO (Varies HO depending on which periodic table is used) DISCOVERER: Adam ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6kg but known to vary from 40-200kg. OCCURRENCES: Migrates in clusters. Copious quantities in all urban areas. PHYSICAL PROPERTIES: 1. Surface usually covered in painted film. 2. Boils at nothing, freezes without known reason. 3. Melts if given special treatment. 4. Bitter if incorrectly used. 5. Found in various states from virgin metal…
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YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…
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Did you hear about the redneck who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow? She can’t touch it till she’s fourteen. What’s the difference between a good ol’ boy and a redneck? The good ol’ boy raises livestock. The redneck gets emotionally involved. How do you know when your staying in a Tennessee hotel? When you call the front desk and say, “I’ve gotta leak in my sink!” and the person at the front…
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Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked “intellectual leadership”. He received a $26 million severance package. With a Little Help from Our Friends! Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting pleas to come out and give himself up… …And What Was…
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My grandson was telling me that he and his three playmates attended different churches. Then he added, “It really doesn’t matter if we go to different churches, does it, Grandma, as long as we’re all Republicans?” A new neighbor asked the little girl next door if she had any brothers and sisters. She replied, “No, I’m the lonely child.” My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, “Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?” I mentally…
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A seven-year-old child was drawing a picture of the Nativity. The picture was very good and included Mary, Joseph and, of course, baby Jesus. However, there was a fat man standing in the corner of the stable that just did not seem to fit in. When the child was asked about it, she replied, “Oh, that’s Round John Virgin.”
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Mrs. Morris Siegel beckoned to a salesman in Bergdorf Goodman’s, pointed to a white wool designer dress on a mannequin, and said, “Hey, Sonny Boy, so how much is the dress on that store dummy over there?” “That dress is $899.95, Madam,” sneered the rather snotty salesman. “Oy! For $99.95, I could get the same dress at S. Klein’s downtown!” “But, Madam,” said the salesman, “You’ll find that the dress at Klein’s is recycled wool. This original is 100% pure…
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One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following “history” of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot. The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of…
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It has become pretty obvious to me that our present astrological signs have served their purpose and that we should get rid of them. When I’m out driving around I’ll see bulls, and once in a great while I suppose I’ll even see a ram. Up the street from me there’s some twins, but I don’t see them much. The rest of these things are just too obscure. You only see crabs on vacation. There are no lions, or scorpions,…
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