Vegetables Jokes - page 2

Dental Difficulties

A man went to his dentist to complain about his false teeth. The dentist, after a careful exam, asked, “What have you been eating? Your entire upper plate has eroded since I gave you these teeth just a few weeks ago.” “The only thing I can imagine is that recently my wife served me some asparagus with Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much that I now eat it everyday on everything–toast, meat, vegetables, fish–everything!” “Well,” said the dentist, “that…

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Thoughts to ponder

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn’t live there. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? (Jared: what do you think?) Whatever happened to preparations A through G? If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? I went…

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My Mother taught

1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION… “Just wait until your father gets home.” 2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING…. “You are going to get it when we get home!” 3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE… “What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! … Don’t talk back to me” 4. My Mother taught me LOGIC… “If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store…

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100 Blonde Jokes!

1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! 2. Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. 3. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. 4. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down. 5. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence. 6. Q: How does a blonde part their…

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