Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Three guys were arguing over which profession was established first. The surgeon said, “The Bible says Eve was made by carving a rib out of Adam–that makes mine the oldest job.” The engineer replied, “In six days the Earth was created of chaos–an engineer’s job.” “Yes, but who created the chaos?” asked the politician.
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1. I’ve smoked fatter joints than that. 2. Ahhhh, it’s cute. 3. Why don’t we just cuddle? 4. You know they have surgery to fix that. 5. Make it dance. 6. Can I paint a smiley face on it? 7. Wow, and your feet are so big. 8. It’s OK, we’ll work around it. 9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it? 10. Oh no…. a flash headache. 11. (giggle and point) 12. Can I be honest with you? 13.…
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1.The us government spent 277,000 dollars on pickle research in 1993 2.There are 10 doctors in the us whose last name is Nurse. 3.When Heinz ketchup leaves the bottle it travels at the speed of 25 miles per year. 4.State of union: The house where Thomas Jefferson wrote most of the declaration of independence was torn down and replaced with a hamburger stand. 5.If you are an average American you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at a…
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Q: What did the blonde say when the docotor told her that she was pregnant? A: Is it mine? —————————— Q: Why did the blonde have tire marks across her back? A: Because the sign said “Don’t Walk” —————————— Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool. —————————— Q: Why did the blonde’s belly button hurt? A: ‘Cause her boyfriends were all blondes too. —————————— Q: How would you kill…
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A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads: Hamburger: $1 Cheeseburger: $2 Handjob: $10 He beckons to an attractive blonde behind the counter. “Can I help you?” she asks with a knowing smile. “I was wondering,” whispers the man. ” Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?” “Yes,” she purrs suductively. “I am.” “Well, wash your hands,” he says. I want a fucking cheeseburger.”
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THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE AGE DRINK 17 beer 25 bourbon 35 vodka 48 double vodka 66 Maalox AGE SEDUCTION LINE 17 My parents are away for the weekend. 25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend. 35 My fiancee is away for the weekend. 48 My wife is away for the weekend. 66 My second wife is dead. AGE FAVORITE SPORT 17 sex 25 sex 35 sex 48 sex 66 napping AGE DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE 17 tongue…
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As an ex-telemarketer, a couple of incidents happened to me… Let me share them with ya! Me: Hi, may I speak to Mr. Jones? Mr: Speaking. Me: This is Susan calling from Mutual Medical Insurance. Mr: Am I insured with you? Me: No, but we’re calling to offer you a medical plan, which will take care of almost all your medical expences. Mr: I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. Me: We’re calling to offer you a medical plan, which will…
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A nurse from England was on duty in the emergency room, when a female punk rocker entered. This young woman had purple hair styled into a Mohawk, a variety of tattoos and strange clothing. It was determined that the patient had an acute appendicitis and was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff found that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it was a tattoo reading: “Keep off the…
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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin…
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The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employees home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whispered, “Hello?” Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, “Is your Daddy home?” “Yes,” whispered the small voice. “May I talk with him?” the man asked. To the surprise of the boss, the small voice…
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