Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
So there’s this nun who teaches first graders. On the first day of class the nun calls out all of the children’s names, except she notices that all the way in the back of the classroom there’s this little girl who never raised her hand. So the nun goes over to the little girl and asks her “Little girl, what is your name?” and the little girl responds “My name is Helen Fuckhour.” The nun says to the little girl…
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A bellhop at a really nice resort takes a young couple up to the bridal suite, and drops off all their luggage. A short while later, he sees the groom heading out of the lobby, wearing waders and carrying a fishing rod and a tackle box. He is a little puzzled, so he goes over to the groom and says, “Excuse me sir, but shouldn’t you be upstairs making love to your wife?” The groom replies, “Well, I would, but…
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A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote in a national election. We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car that will take 5 years to pay off. We demand speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won’t buy a car if it can’t go over 100 miles an hour. We know…
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One evening a man was eating peanuts by throwing them in the air and catching them in his mouth. As he threw one in the air, his wife asked him a question. When the man turned his head, the peanut fell in his ear. He tried to get it out, but his fingers were too big. His wife tried to get the peanut out with a pair of tweezers, but just pushed it in farther. They finally decided to go…
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A pilot was forced to make a crash landing in a farmer’s field. The farmer took the pilot back to the farmhouse, where the pilot noticed the farmer had a golden fiddle hanging above the fireplace. The two men were standing there talking when the farmers wife came down the steps. The pilot couldn’t believe how beautiful she was. He asked the farmer, “How can you trust her to be here by herself all day, while you go out and…
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Memo To: All Employees Subject: New Policies Sick Days: We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. Surgery: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment. Bereavement Leave: This is no excuse…
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A man suspects his wife is having an afair. He calls the house and a strange woman answered the phone. “Who is this?” asks the man, “The maid” she replies. “We don’t have one.” “I was hired this mornining sir.” “ok then” says the man” Where is my wife please?” “upstairs with the man who I thought was her husband.” “I’ll tell you what” says the frustrsted man” I’ll give you $1000 if you get my gun from my desk…
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WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF STAR WARS WAS SET IN GLASGOW? Chewbacca would look roughly the same except he’d only be about 5ft tall, from Blackhill and called Shug. He’d have the same amount of body hair but would also have tattoos, would permanently smell of drink and invariably sport a Rangers top. Obi-Wan Kenobi would invariably be referred to as Chief or Big Yin by his cohorts. People trying to start a fight with him would addess him as Wanky-Nobby.…
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Now that Viagra has become one of the top prescriptions, you should ask your doctor about: Mixing Viagra with Prozac – that way, if you don’t get laid, you don’t get upset Mixing Viagra with herbal Ginko Biloba – that way, if you get laid, you won’t forget Nasal Spray Viagra – this method is only for Dickheads Don’t mix Viagra with Rogaine – you’ll turn into Don King
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An old, bearded shepherd, with a crooked staff, walks up to a stone pulpit and says… And lo it came to pass that the trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham, her husband, “Why doth thou travel far, from town to…
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