Ugly woman Jokes - page 2

King Arthur & the Old Witch

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur?s youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be killed. The question was: What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the…

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I wanna be held

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says, “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” The husband asks, “WHAT??” The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen that night, and he might as well deal with it. The next day the husband takes…

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The nice fruit guy

Once a woman went to the fruit store with her baby son, who everybody thought he was so ugly and never said a nice word as courtesy. But she noticed the store guy playing with her son, so she was so happy and thanked the nice man and said, “You are so nice to play with him, everyone avoids him..!” Guy: “Rubbish! Here, give him a banana, he’s the nicest monkey I’ve ever seen !”

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You Know It’s Your Last Day At Work When……

You know it’s your last day at work when … You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, “What’s this?” you realize you just dropped the company’s deposit in a mailbox. A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, “I waited on the last fat ugly old lady. This one’s your turn”. Your boss is standing behind you. It’s his wife. You sneak into your boss’ office and look at some…

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just hold me…

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up, but then the wife stops and says “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me. ” The husband says “WHAT??” The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it. The next day the husband takes…

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Are you single..?

A woman walks into a supermarket and buys : – 1 bar of soap – 1 toothbrush – 1 tube toothpaste – 1 loaf of bread – 1 pint of milk – 1 single serving cereal – 1 single serving frozen dinner The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, “Single, are you?” The woman replies very sarcastically, “How did you guess?” He replies, “Because you’re ugly.”

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Coffee Is Better

Listed below are overwhelming reasons that coffee is better than a woman: 1. A cup of coffee looks good in the morning. 2. You won’t get arrested for ordering coffee at 3 AM. 3. You won’t fall asleep after a cup of coffee. 4. You can always warm coffee up. 5. You can take black coffee home to your parents. 6. You can make coffee as sweet as you want. 7. You can smoke while drinking coffee. 8. Coffee smells…

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Doctor’s Surprise

A woman went to the doctor’s office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she explained. He had her sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched back to the first and demanded, “What’s the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old…

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The Nosy Cab Driver

Each morning, a self-righteous, nosy cab driver would drive a man to his place of employment and would later return to drive the man’s wife to her place of employment…a brothel. During a conversation one morning with the man, the nosy cab driver smugly stated, “I don’t mean to be prying, but did you know that each morning after dropping you off at work, I return and take your wife and drop her off at a brothel where she works?”…

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