Ual Jokes - page 4

Sister Mary burst into the office of the principal of Our Lady of Perpetual Motion School in an advanced state of agitation. “Father!” she cried, “just WAIT until you hear this!” The priest led the sister to a chair, and said, “Now just calm down and tell me what has you so excited.” “Well, Father,” the nun began, “I was just walking down the hall to the chapel, and I heard some of the older boys wagering money!” “A serious…

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There was class as usual in the fifth grade. In this class all the students would sit on the back except for two shy boys. But today, a boy named Pepito had been talking too much so the teacher told him, he had to sit on the front row. That day, while the teacher was giving lecture (as always the students were falling asleep) the teacher slipped and fell. By the noise she made when she fell, the students rose…

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The following is submitted, exactly as authored, but a “translation” follows: >>!*”# ^’`$$- !*=@$_ %*>>~#4 &[]../ |{,,SYSTEM HALTED The symbols above are called “DINGBATS”. Each Dingbat has a NAME. When you speak the name of the symbols, the following “poem” results: Waka waka bang splat tick tick hash, Caret quote back-tick dollar dollar dash, Bang splat equal at dollar under-score, Percent splat waka waka tilde number four, Ampersand bracket bracket dot dot slash, Vertical-bar curly-bracket comma comma CRASH!

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A group of friends, who prided themselves on their intelligence, set out to have a contest of wits. Each person in turn asked a question and anyone who volunteered an answer that was wrong dropped out. If no one could answer, the questioner himself had to answer, and if he was wrong, he dropped out. Each dropout had to put $5 into the pot. Eventually, the matter boiled down to Jason and Dean, and the erudition of each one boiled…

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A Navy Admiral, a Marine General and an Army General were having some drinks at the officer’s club in a major military base. After a few rounds of iced tea, the Navy Admiral boasted, “You know, the Navy has the bravest fighting men ever to serve in the Armed Forces. I can prove it to you all.” Before the others could protest, the Admiral proceeded to phone his headquarter and asked for the best Navy Seal in his command to…

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