Two friends Jokes - page 2

Different Strokes

Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that his partner had only one golf ball. “Don’t you have at least one other golf ball?” he asked. The other guy replied that he only needed one. “Are you sure?” the friend persisted. “What happens if you lose that ball?” The other guy replied, “This is a very special golf ball. I won’t lose it so I don’t need another one.” “Well,”…

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Read JokeDifferent Strokes

Do you have a light?

Two friends were playing golf when one pulled out a cigar. He didn?t have a lighter so he asked his friend if he had one. ?I sure do,? he replied and reached into his golf bag and pulled out a 12 inch BIC lighter. ?Wow!? said his friend, ?where did you get that monster?? ?I got it from my genie.? ?You have a genie?? he asked ?Yes, he?s right here in my golf bag.? He opens his golf bag and…

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Surprise, surprise….

Two friends meet on the street and one gives the good news to the other…. Did you know that I finally had a son on Monday? Gosh, congratulations, and…how is your wife doing? Oh, I guess she is doing great so far, but wait until she finds out about the baby..

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Read JokeSurprise, surprise….

Jewish and Italian boys

Two friends, an Italian boy and a Jewish boy, come of age at the same time. The Italian boy’s father presents him with a brand-new pistol. On the other side of town, at his Bar Mitzvah, the Jewish boy receives a beautiful gold watch. The next day in school, the two boys are showing each other what they got. It turns out that each boy likes the other’s present better, and so they trade. That night, when the Italian boy…

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A Very Brave Soldier, Indeed

A Navy Admiral, a Marine General and an Army General were having some drinks at the officer’s club in a major military base. After a few rounds of iced tea, the Navy Admiral boasted, “You know, the Navy has the bravest fighting men ever to serve in the Armed Forces. I can prove it to you all.” Before the others could protest, the Admiral proceeded to phone his headquarter and asked for the best Navy Seal in his command to…

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Read JokeA Very Brave Soldier, Indeed

A Redneck MaMa’s Letter to her Son

Dear Son: Just a few lines to let you know I’m still alive. I will write this letter slowly because I know you can’t read fast. First the big news…your Dad heard that most accidents happen close to home so we moved. You won’t know the house when you come home as I can’t send you the address because the last redneck family that lived here took the house numbers with them so they wouldn’t have to change their address.…

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Read JokeA Redneck MaMa’s Letter to her Son

Top 20 things to do in a grocery store

1. Every time someone calls for a price check, start gobbling like a turkey and run up and down the aisle you’re in until someone asks you what’s wrong. When this happens, walk away passively, cursing under your breath that people are so weird these days. 2. When greeted with a friendly “hello” from your bag-boy, reply, repeating loudly: “No, my name’s not Fred!” while spinning around violently for 30 seconds straight. Try to walk out of the store in…

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2-for-1 Hitman

There are these friends who play golf together every Saturday. One Saturday they were getting ready to tee off when a guy asked them if he could join them. The friends looked at each other and then looked at the man and said, “Sure.” So they teed off. About two holes into the game, the friends got curious about what the man did for a living, so they asked him. The stranger told them that he was a hitman. They…

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Cards NOT made by Hallmark

Not likely to find these cards at your local Hallmark store…. “Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife.” “How could two people as beautiful you have such an ugly baby?” “I’ve always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I’ve changed my mind.” “I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in Hell til I met you.” “Looking back over the years that we’ve been…

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Read JokeCards NOT made by Hallmark

Three wishes

There was once three black men. Two of them wanted to be white but the third insisted that color is no diffirence. One day they were walking on a sandpath and found a lamp. They started rubbing it and a ginnie came out. The ginnie granted one wish for each one of them. The first, following his dream, wished to be white. With a snap of his finger, the ginnie turned him white. The seconed wished for the same and…

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Read JokeThree wishes