Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There were 3 women at a bar and they were arguing over which one of them was the loosest. The first woman said, ” My husband can stick two fingers up me.” The second woman said, “Oh, big deal, my husband can stick his whole fist up me.” Then the third woman slid down the bar stool.
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In the days of horses and carts a couple get hitched. On the ride home after the reception, the fellows horse keeps playing up, every 100 yards or so the horse would come to a dead stop for no apparent reason. The groom jumps from the cart, walks to the horses face, holding one finger up…”That’s ONE!” he yells, and quickly remounts up onto the buggy. The bride shrugs this off, but another hundred yards down the track the horse…
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Three men stand before St. Peter awaiting admission into Heaven. However, St. Peter has been informed that Heaven will only admit 33% of applicants today. The admissions standard: Who died the worst death? So, St. Peter takes each of the three men aside in turn and asks them about how they died. First man: “I’d been suspecting for a long time that my wife was cheating on me. I decided to come home early from work one afternoon and check…
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Men, the next time you go to the public toilets, you may observe one of the following types of vistors: Excitable Type: Pants are twisted, cannot find hole, rips pants in anger. Sociable Type: Joins pals for a piss whether he wants one or not. Timid Type: Cannot pee if anyone is watching, pretends he has been and sneaks back later. Nosy Type: Peeps over partition to have a look at the other fellow’s tool. Indifferent Type: All urinals being…
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The English language is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French Fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And…
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1.BARCODE: The fighting rules down at the local tavern. 2.BUG: The reason you give for calling in sick. 3.BYTE: What the pit bull did to cousin Jim Bob 4.CACHE: What you have to resort to when you run out of food stamps. 5.CHIP: Pasture muffins that you try not to step in 6.CRASH: When you go to Junior’s party uninvited 7.DIGITAL: Counting on your fingers 8.DISKETTE: A female disco dancer 9.FAX: The only thing the FBI is interested in 10.HACKER:…
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Two little boys were urinating behind the barn and one said, “I wish I had a big one like my big brother. He holds his with four fingers.” Said the second little boy, “But you’re holding yours with four fingers.” “Sure,” said the first, “but I’m pissing on three of them.”
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As I was trying to pack for vacation, my 3-year-old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point, she said, “Mom, look at this,” and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her fingers in my mouth and said, “Mommy gonna eat your fingers!” pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again. When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed…
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“BIT” = A wager as in, “I bit you cain’t spit that watermelon seed across the porch longways.” “BYTE” = First word in a kiss-off phrase. “CURSOR” = What some guys do when they are mad at their wife and/or girlfriend. “FLOPPY” = When ya’ll can’t get it up no more. “DIGITAL CONTROL” = What yore fingers do on the TV remote. “HARD DRIVE” = Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires while pulling a trailer…
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One day a man with no tongue approched a threesome on the first tee of a golf course. He handed a card to the men that stated, “I am dumb as I have no tongue. I would like to join your threesome, making it a foursome”. The first man looked at the card and said, “No problem”. The second man looked at the card and said, “I have no problem with that”. The third man looked at the card and…
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