Tradition Jokes - page 2

Drifting Off in Class

Sometimes, when I’m in class, I dream that I’m on a tropical island, with a dozen or more scantily clad females beside me, sitting under a huge palm tree, with some soft, gentle music being played on some traditional wood instruments of that region, and a cool, gentle breeze caressing my tanned body. I do all this while trying to forget I’m in a classroom. Of course, it would be so much easier if all my students weren’t waiting for…

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Pregnant Turkey

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister’s house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister was, Mom decided to play a trick on her. She told my sister that she needed something from the store and sent her for it. While she was gone, my mom took the turkey out of the oven un-stuffed it, re-stuffed it with a Cornish game hen, put the stuffing back over the top of it, and put it back…

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College Athlete Exam

COLLEGE ENTRANCE EXAM FOR STUDENT ATHLETES Time Limit: 3 WEEKS 1. What language is spoken in France? 2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- Give the first name of Pierre Trudeau. 3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to ____ (a) build a bridge ____ (b) sail the ocean ____ (c) lead an army or ____ (d) WRITE A PLAY 4. What religion is the Pope? (check only…

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Reluctant Juror

According to tradition, the guilty cannot be hidden. Think of the fellow who wanted to be dismissed from jury duty. He tried every excuse to no avail. On the day of the trial he decided to give it one more shot. “Your Honor,” he said, ” I must be excused from this trial because I am prejudiced against the defendant. I took one look at the man over there with those beady eyes and that twisted smile and I said…

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3 Eskimo Initiation Rites

An Eskimo newcomer just settled down on the outskirts of an Eskimo village. Since he was a stranger, he was not able to make friends that easily with his new neighbors. One day, a neighbor dropped by the newcomer’s igloo and said to the stranger, “I want to welcome you to the village but before you could be accepted as a member of this village, you will have to undergo three traditional initiation rites.” The Eskimo newcomer asked, “What are…

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THE ORTHODOX RABBI

Debra, a beautiful Jewish girl was raised in a Strictly Orthodox home. She became engaged to Richard, a Gentile boy who agreed to convert to Judaism and to be married in the temple of Debbie’s parents. Richard had so many questions about the forthcoming ceremony that Debbie arranged for him to meet Rabbi Schiller who would be performing the marriage. “I’d like Mom and Dad to be seated right down front with all my sisters,” said Richard. “Oh no”, said…

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Driving in China

I have always been a critic of Seattle driving, but recently I had a chance to see how others drive in far away countries, such as China. Since then, I have developed a profound respect for how we drive here in the Northwest. Why? What could be so bad about the driving in China? Here is a collection of short observations I have made riding in the Great Country of China. While Driving in China……………………… Traffic signals are (how should…

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Evasive Turkey

It was the first time the blonde had eaten Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself. The day after Thanksgiving her mother called to see how everything went. “Oh, Mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey,” said the daughter. “Did it not taste good?” her mother asked. “I don’t know,” the blonde said. “It wouldn’t sit still!”

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Suk Mi Pagoda Restauarant Menu

Suk Mi Pagoda Cuntonese Cuisine 6969 Fellatio Blvd. Escondildo, CA 281-6969 (that’s Two ate one, sixty-nine,sixty-nine) OO-La-La-Carte: Cream Sum Yung Guy.. Women love it Cum Drop Soup …. Same as above, but no MSG Suc Sum Tit ….. Chef’s favorite Luncheon Specials: 1. Sum Yung Chick..Sweet and delicious 2. Sum Dum Fuc …Same as #1 but without brains 3. Wong Hong Lo…Chinese sausage with 2 meatballs 4. Suc Mi Pork….Mostly white meat for light eaters 5. Suc Mi Dork….Mostly dark…

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Horoscopes for Southerners

It has become pretty obvious to me that our present astrological signs have served their purpose and that we should get rid of them. When I’m out driving around I’ll see bulls, and once in a great while I suppose I’ll even see a ram. Up the street from me there’s some twins, but I don’t see them much. The rest of these things are just too obscure. You only see crabs on vacation. There are no lions, or scorpions,…

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