Toilet Jokes - page 4

Signs That You are Too Drunk

Signs That You are Too Drunk You lose arguments with inanimate objects. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. Job interfering with your drinking. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alchohol stream. Career won’t progress beyong Senator from Massachusetts. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat. Sincerely believe alchohol is the elusive 5th food group. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case- coincidence?…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeSigns That You are Too Drunk

The Urinal List

Men, the next time you go to the public toilets, you may observe one of the following types of vistors: Excitable Type: Pants are twisted, cannot find hole, rips pants in anger. Sociable Type: Joins pals for a piss whether he wants one or not. Timid Type: Cannot pee if anyone is watching, pretends he has been and sneaks back later. Nosy Type: Peeps over partition to have a look at the other fellow’s tool. Indifferent Type: All urinals being…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeThe Urinal List

Some Old, Some New, All Bad

Q: What’s the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman? A: One says “Hey, you, get off of my cloud.” The other says, “Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe.” Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? A: One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with…. the other is used to carry groceries. Q: How do you recycle toilet paper? A: Hang it on the wall and bash the…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeSome Old, Some New, All Bad

Making fun of our Redneck Buddies…

You might be a redneck if: The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table…. in front of her kids. Last year you hid Easter eggs under cow pies. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a different night. Jack Daniels makes your list of “Most Admired People.” You think…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeMaking fun of our Redneck Buddies…

How to Annoy your Public Bathroom Stallmate

1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, “May I borrow a highlighter?” 2. Say, “uh oh, I knew I shouldn’t have put my lips on that.” 3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise. 4. Say, “Dang, this water’s cold.” 5. Drop a marble and say, “Oh crap! My glass eye!” 6. Say, “Hmmmm, I’ve never seen that color before.” 7. Grunt and strain real loud…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeHow to Annoy your Public Bathroom Stallmate

Irish Quiz Answers

Some classic answers from Irish radio Just-a-minute quiz. Actual answers given to the bould Larry Gogan (Irish Radio Presenter). 1) Something a blind man might use? A Sword 2) A Song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon 3) Name the Capital of France? F 4) Name a bird with a long neck? Naomi Campbell 5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A burglar 6) Where is the Taj Mahal? Opposite the Dental Hospital…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeIrish Quiz Answers

What do you sell?

A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, “I’m on the 7th hole and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole.” He thanked her and went back…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWhat do you sell?

We can find it….

I proudly announced to my family, “Hey! Guess what? I’ve lost FIVE POUNDS!” My old man looked at me with an unbelieving look on his face and said, “Oh? Can you prove it?” I happily responded, “Sure! It should STILL be floating in the toilet!”

(1)Loading...

Read JokeWe can find it….

Better Listen to your Kids

True Story. When Courtney was 2 1/2, her dad took her with him to Sears. Dad was busy talking with a salesman about a new hot water heater. Of course, he was paying more attention to the salesman than to his daughter, who kept interrupting him. “Just a minute, Courtney, he told her.” Suddenly, Dad heard a toilet lid close, and it dawned on him just what Courtney had been saying! He quickly ended his conversation with the salesman before…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeBetter Listen to your Kids