Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
TEN simple indications that the person next to you on the subway is “Nuts”. (A Luis G. Moreno original) 10.The guy next to you points out a location on the subway map with his toes. 9.The lady next to you makes “chomping” noises with her teeth at everyone, indicating that she wants some gum. 8.The person next to you repeatedly sits and stands on the seat beside you claiming, “I’m ..not…..NUTS!…I’m ..not ….NUTS!” 7.The lady next to you looks at…
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Men think computers should be referred to as females, just like ships, because: 1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic. 2. The language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 3. The message “Bad command or file name” is about as informative as “If you don’t know why I’m mad at you, I’m certainly not going to tell you.” 4. Your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval. 5.…
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A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig von Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backwards! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him.…
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A butcher was about to close up shop one night when a dog walked in, carrying a paper bag in its mouth. The butcher tried to shoo the dog away, but it wouldn’t leave. Instead it set the bag down and barked at it. So the butcher looked inside of the bag, and found some money and a note. The note said: 1 lb Italian sausage 2 lbs Pork chops So the butcher filled the order, made change for the…
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One day a boy was walking home from school when he came across an Indian and an elephant. The Indian noticed the little boy and said, “This elephant tell how old you are.” And the boy said, “Yeah, right!” Then the elephant stompped his feet ten times and the boy said, “Yes I am ten years old!” So he went home and told his mom and the mom went to the Indian with the elephant and the Indian said, “This…
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How many members of your sign does it take to change a light bulb? ARIES: Just one. You want to make something of it? TAURUS: One, but just try to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away. GEMINI: Two, but the job never gets done -they just keep discussing who is supposed to do it and how it’s supposed to be done! CANCER: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help…
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For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers were facing away from each other. A few minutes into the class, she got up to leave the room. I reached between our computers and switched the inputs for the keyboards. She came back and started typing and immediately got a distressed look on her face. She called the teacher over and explained that no matter what she typed, nothing would happen. The teacher tried everything.…
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A young couple got married & went on a cruise for their honeymoon. When they got back from the honeymoon, the bride immediately called her mother, who lived a couple of hours away. “Well, darling,” said her mom, “how was the honeymoon?” “Oh, mother,” she replied, “the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic, we had a terrific time! But, mother, as soon as we returned, Sam began using really horrible language… Stuff I’d never heard before… Really terrible 4-letter words… You’ve…
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It was the night before the big hunt, and all the old hunting dogs always went out for a night on the town. One of the old hunting dogs decided it was time for his pup to join him. The old dog told his pup, “Since this is your first night out on the town, you stay ten steps back and just observe.” Shortly after reaching town the old dog turned down a dark alley, with the pup following close…
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A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next day’s meeting, he called down to the desk clerk and asked if there was a barber on the premises. “I’m afraid not, Sir,” the clerk told him, apologetically, “but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purposes.” Skeptical, but intrigued, the salesman located the appropriate machine, inserted 50 cents, stuck his head in the opening, at which time the machine…
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