Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A blonde dials 911 to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher. “They’ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, and even the accelerator!” she cries. The 911 dispatcher says, “Stay calm. An officer is on the way. He will be there in two minutes.” Before the police get to the crime scene, however, the 911 dispatcher’s telephone rings a second time, and the same blonde…
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Once upon a time, three blondes went hunting in the forest. After a while they see some tracks. The first blonde says “hey look at these deer tracks!”. The second blonde looks at the tracks and says “no stupid those are wolf tracks!”. The third one looks at the tracks and studies them a little bit and says “you guys are both stupid, those are obviously bear tracks!”. Thats when they were hit by the train.
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Share your knowledge of these “world records” with your friends, relatives and associates during dinner: MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July, 1991. LONGEST PUBES Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the armpits and 28 inches from her vagina. MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into her vagina. (This isn’t all…
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The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich African king who was a very important client. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her, don’t reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her. After a few minutes, the woman…
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There was an egg in a pub and a woman comes over and begins to chat him up. They have a dance and at the end of the night the woman asks him if he wants to go back to her place. He says ‘OK’ so he collects his bag and leaves. When they get to her house she says, ‘I’m just going to slip into something more comfortable’ She returns wearing a small purple garment. The egg who always…
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The IS department has defined a lower cost alternative for Desktop conversions that also addresses the Y2K (Year 2000) issue. The goal is to remove all computers from the desktop by Jan, 1999. Instead, everyone will be provided with an Etch-A-Sketch. There are many sound reasons for doing this: 1. No Y2K problems 2. No technical glitches, keeping work from being done. 3. No more wasted time reading and writing emails. 4. Substantial hardware cost savings. Frequently Asked Questions from…
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One evening, Charlie was feeling pretty light-headed from a couple of boilermakers when he rang the bell of the most expensive cat-house in town. “How ya doin’”, he said when the madam answered the door. “I want your mos’ adventurous girl.” The madam ushered him inside and sat him down. “You have to be a little more specific”, she said. “What do you mean by ‘adventurous’?” “Well when I’ve had a couple a lil drinks, sometimes I have a tough…
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Jesus and St. Peter were teeing it up in front of a 250 yard carry over a lake. St. Peter asked Jesus what club he was going to use. Jesus replied, “A 1 Iron.” St. Peter said, “Only Tiger Woods can hit a 1 Iron that far.” Ignoring the advice, Jesus hits 3 balls in the water and starts walking on the water to retrieve his balls. About that time a foursome behind them comes up on the tee, and…
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Some very important questions to ask yourselves. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? If people from Poland are called “Poles”, why aren’t people from Holland called “Holes”? If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillip’s Screwdriver? Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? If a pig…
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Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, “Honey, my hands are freezing!” She says, “Well put them here between my legs and that will warm them up.” After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says again, “Man! My hands are really freezing!” She says again, “Well put them…
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